An Ardour Dampening Moment in Llandudno.
Dont ask me why but in the latter part of the last decade I and my girlfriend decided to holiday for a week in Llandudno. Actually it wasnt the purgatory you may think it was, although the hotel food could've been a little kinder to my colon.

I hungrily devoured a plate of roast beef one evening, then as the meal passed, I felt a tightening in my lower half. I sureptitiously undid my belt, then my flies to releave the pressure on my digestive system, but nothing seemed to give me relief.

We returned to our room for an evening of doing what twentysomething couples (well I was a twentysomething and she was 19 so it was going to be full on gorilla sex or nothing, I can tell you), do in the bedroom.

I put on a pair of purple silk boxer shorts, whilst she went in to the bathroom to 'freshen up'.

I was lying on the bed when I cocked my posterior with the intention of unleashing a 'one cheek sneak', and got more than I bargained for.

An unstoppable torrent of foul smelling goo was unleashed from my quivering abdomen.
I leapt from the bed, desperately trying to contain the flow within the flimsy walls of my thin undergarment, and ran in one move into the bathroom, throwing my girlfriend asunder.

Picture the moment as a 19 year old fox had her moment spoilt by her beau running in, purple faced and emptying a sizeable quantity of foul smelling effluent into the toilet before settling himself onto the pan and evacuating his bowels to the accompaniment of a noise similar to that of a leafblower.

Any horizontal athletics had to be canned as I wrapped the boxer shorts up in a plastic bag and threw them into the wastebin outside the hotel.

I kid you not when I went out the following morning, I could still smell the faeces as strong as the night before, and there were two or three dogs sniffing expectantly around the bin.
I cant remember as well now, but I am pretty sure Dyno Rod put in an appearance that day as well.
(Vic Flange, Sun 30 Mar 2008, 19:09, 2 replies)

*click*
I lolled at 'noise similar to a leafblower'
Well done. :)
(pharmatron Death or Scunthorpe? CHOOSE!!, Sun 30 Mar 2008, 20:13, closed)

leafblower?
Nice
(frankspencer, Mon 31 Mar 2008, 9:26, closed)