Thomas the Jedi
This relates to the home for the handicapped I lived near (mentioned in previous post)

When I still believed in the Easter bunny, Santa and God I used to play with a boy called Thomas. Thomas was a great laugh and a great friend, he loved star wars and was convinced he was a Jedi. He was mentally handicapped – during birth he was strangled by the cord and suffered some brain damage. The thing is he was incredibly clever. He was just completely tuned into his surroundings and very aware. Even at the age of 6.
I don’t understand the science in all this, but, he couldn’t control parts of his body which we do automatically. You sometimes had to remind him to breath, drink, blink and go to the toilet. He also had problems sitting still – no ADHD (don’t think it was diagnosed then) - he just had to be constantly active. Give him a puzzle, game, anything and he would be lost in it for hours.

Anyway – one day I jumped over my back garden fence and walked into the day centre to play some Jedi sword fights with Thomas. We wandered around the garden and found a sutible stick each and they quickly became light sabers in our child minds. For an hour we battled in the garden, in the hall, up the stairs and through the wards.

We were surrounded by storm troopers intent on killing the last two Jedi warriors, but, the force was doing all kinds of crazy stuff to us and WE.WERE.ON.FIRE!!
As I sliced through two more storm troopers – Thomas ran for the landing to take on the fresh attach which was darting up the stairs. With the grace of a decapitated chicken he span round and cleanly removed the heads of another two badies. I ducked down under some laser fire and made a forward roll towards Thomas.
We stood back to back, panting slightly out of breath, and looked down the stairs.
“Darth Vader must be down there” I said “I can feel the dark side”.
In a flash Thomas jumped on the banister getting ready to slide down.

Something was wrong though – his face contorted slightly and then I heard a very wet and bubbling fart. He burst out laughing and started sliding down the banister leaving a very fresh coat of shit all the way down.

However shocked I was and however bad it smelt – I always, always remember laughing my head off at the sight of a Fierce Jedi Warrior painting a white sanatised banister with a dirty brown smudge.

When he reached the bottom he shouted up “may the force be with poo”.
To a young boy – this is about the funniest thing you can hear.
( KISS.ME.WHERE.I.POO Signed the sex offenders register on, Mon 31 Mar 2008, 13:41, 3 replies)

Heheheh

I had to stifle a very heavy chortle for this one. Very funny

I guess we're all pretty peurile to love the poo jokes, but I don't care :D!
(Lythium deals in lead, my friend., Mon 31 Mar 2008, 15:04, closed)

Nope
I made no efforts to contain myself, that is a gem.
(ShitBitch, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 11:27, closed)

Young boy,....?
Nah, that's still the funniest thing to me now!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 11:50, closed)