Dog shit and cars
When I had my first house I allowed some Senegalise friends to stay with me.

I live in a slightly closed-minded part of Lancashire, and I deduct that one of the neighbours must not have been too impressed by my West African friends and I sitting out in the street playing guitar, drinking beer and smoking spliffs, as I came out one morning to find dog shit smeared all over (and I mean literally all over) my beloved Vauxhall Cavalier.

From that day onwards I was on permanent lookout for closet racists who live in the street so I could return my own gift down the side of their car, or, as they're probably too dysfunctional to look after a car, more likely through their letterbox.

Unfortunately it was to no avail.
(Half of Stephen Fry's right buttock pissed on your dog on, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 15:47, 6 replies)

What utter barstewards....
Closet racists are even worse than overt racists.
( girlinthehole, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 16:07, closed)

@BGB
Damn stright. I have a racist in my water closet (appropriately enough). He does nothing but sing the Horst Wessel Song. All bloody night.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 16:11, closed)

Hmm.
How do you know it was because your chums are forrin? Maybe they just objected to you smoking weed in the street? I know I would; there are some things you should only do in private. Though I don't think I'd sink to smearing shit on your car.
( Bob Todd whee, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 20:02, closed)

@ Bob Todd:
Yes, because obviously picking up dog shit and smearing it on things is FAR less offensive than smoking a naturally-occurring plant on the street.

Do you object to someone having a cigarette on the street? Do you object to someone having a beer on the street, as long as they're not behaving obnoxiously? No?

Then how can you object to people smoking weed on the street, apart from the very fact that it is illegal?

That and the fact that the neighbours were all far bigger cunts than I (parties at 4am every night, pissed-up twats coming home from the pub yelling in the street at god-knows what time, and the police turning up nearly every Saturday night), and they never had their cars defecated upon.
(Half of Stephen Fry's right buttock pissed on your dog on, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 23:36, closed)

anyone
who won't make their nasty views known in person is not only a racist but a coward.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 2 Apr 2008, 18:07, closed)

I'm confused about one part...
It's the sentence that starts 'I live in a slightly closed-minded part of Lancashire...'

Surely that's just Lancashire as a whole?

Especially around Wigan/Ormskirk/Skelmersdale and so on
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 16:31, closed)