It must be psychosomatic...
Has anyone else found that reading these tales has made them want to poo?

No? Just me then...
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 10:41, 18 replies)

No, it's not just you
I'd desperately love to go and drop one off. I'm normally a 3-4 a day gal, the first one emerging circa 8.45am. However, the first one is usually coaxed out with stimulation from a caffiene / nicotene combo.
But since stopping smoking at the weekend, it just ain't happening.

I've even updated the crapper's reading material in anticipation - not even a rumble so far....

FUCKITY FAECAL FUDGE!!
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 10:54, closed)

Try a 'Super Food' Innocent Smoothie...
Specifically the Blueberry, Pomegranate and Acai.

It never fails to give me a good cleaning out? TMI? Maybe, but hope it works for you!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 10:57, closed)

Funnily enough...
...I've just been for a Gladys Knight. Only semi-solid, but what a stinker. My rusty sheriff's badge is smarting a bit as well.

I think last night's Indian cuisine may have played a part in it all....
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 3 Apr 2008, 10:59, closed)

@Tourettes
Trawl through some of the QOTW answers to this weeks question: I've seen quite a few remedies to blockage (some of them appetizing, some not quite so tempting).
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 11:03, closed)

@Tourette's
Like BobFossil says, there have been a few surefire ways mentioned here of ejecting stubborn stools.

I can recommend prunes and dried apricots, from personal experience.

Or the less tasty method - ferrous sulphate in citric acid, mixed with sodium carbonate...see here for the lowdown on that one.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 11:16, closed)

Come to think of it
Reading these tales has made me more aware of the post-poo relief, and I think I may be starting to become addicted to it.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 12:08, closed)

thanks all!
I think I'll begin with some gentle fruit. Having IBS, it's either a feast or a famine, so don't want too drastic a remedy.
As it happens, I replenished the fruit bowl yesterday. Haven't consumed any yet - still in the process of arranging the bananas at jaunty angles with a pair of satsumas at their bases........
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 12:16, closed)

^
Hehe, I love doing this!
(putting fruit in naughty positions, not having IBS, that is)
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 12:21, closed)

^ fab innit
Trouble is, I get really ANAL about my arrangements. Therefore the removal of, say, an apple will cause the entire structure to collapse. So what usually happens is I stroll up to the fruit bowl, Eddie Izzard style, shake my head then go for a bar of chocolate instead...
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 12:37, closed)

^"And Pears can fuck off too.
Because they're gorgeous little bastards, but they're ripe for half an hour..."

"It's like the film Das Boot in there, with Jurgen Prochner saying "Don't let zem get in to ze Orange!"

J'adore Eddie, 'specially in the old days...
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 12:50, closed)

^
Oh yes. I saw the "Sexie" tour, and it was just a bit 'meh'. Funny enough, but nothing like his earlier standards.

I think my favorite line is "there's a lot of rivalry in the dyslexic camp. Rivaly with three "v's""
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 12:56, closed)

Mm-hm.
Sexie just left me really, really cold.

I was lucky enough to see Glorious being recorded, that was a special night, with 10% extra funniness!

Still my fave is Definite Article, though:

"Are you sure this is a sexy tune, Mrs. Badcrumble?" Hehehe
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 13:00, closed)

^ yeah, we saw the sexie tour too
Was ok, but like you two say, nowhere near as good as the earlier stuff. My favourite is still "The Death Star Canteen". There's a Lego version on you tube - I'll be back with the link in a tic...

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sv5iEK-IEzw

xxx
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 13:10, closed)

^hehe
I'll have to wait to watch that when I get home, my computer at work doesn't have speakers, and my headphones won't fit in.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 13:16, closed)

Death Star canteen is classic Izzard
And the linky has lots of other Eddie monologues (or should that be monoLOGS)? animated with lego - the James Bond one is particularly good.

*edit* and cake or death...

Definite Article still the best though - saw the tour, got the video.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 3 Apr 2008, 13:34, closed)

That is FAN-TAS-TIC!
I nearly choked on my lunch!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 13:43, closed)

DONE A POO
Hurray! Most pleasurable. 2 equal chunks, each measuring 5" with diameters of 1.47".
Best of all, twas clean snappage, requiring minimal wiping :o)

p.s. don't they always smear all over when you're in a hurry?
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 15:23, closed)

Tourettes
well done. I feel like we should have a whip-round and get you a CONGRATULATIONS ON GIVING BIRTH card and some grapes.

Possibly flowers instead of grapes. Grapes are nastily assocaited with piles.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 15:39, closed)