Not shoplifting as such, more idiotic theft
I should point out before I start that I have never shoplifted in my life, and find theft morally reprehensible. It's just that alcohol seems to blur the line between 'theft' and 'that seems like a good idea'.

My first story is set in Cambridge, where I'd been drinking in my old college bar all evening with a friend. He'd left his bike in the college bike sheds, and as we staggered out of the bar to head back to his house, bottles of wine clutched in our hands (not entirely sure where we'd got them from, but that's another story), he asked me to ensure that he didn't try and ride his bike home. I assured him that I most certainly wouldn't.

Fast forward, ooh, two minutes, and he's wheeling his BMX out of the bike shed (we were in our 20s by then and far too old for this type of bike, but as children of the 70s and 80s it seemed OK to us). This made perfect sense to me, despite my previous assertions. However, a problem had arisen - how was I to get home? I had no bike, and he was sitting on his outside the front of college waiting for me. The answer presented itself to me, conveniently enough, in the form of a nice, shiny, unlocked bicycle standing propped up against the kerb right next to me. Fantastic! I leapt onto the bike, and we both pedalled off happily, wine bottles still in hand.

The fact that the owner of this bike, and their friends, had been stood _right next to it_ when I got on it, had indeed registered with me, but seemed of little consequence at the time.

I got about two minutes down the road when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned (wobbled) to see one of the aforementioned people on his bike, asking what I thought I was doing. A large gentleman, who may have played rugby. I stopped, said 'there you go mate' and handed him the bike back. I also offered him my bottle of wine as a peace offering, which he declined.

He then just took the bike I'd stolen and cycled back off in the direction he'd just come from. Without kicking my head in. A remarkably phlegmatic chap, I've always thought.

The second instance is more the usual drunken student stealing of roadsigns, this one from Ventnor on the Isle of Wight whilst on a geology field trip. This is more by way of an apology to the good people of The Pitts, but I'm sure you've had that stolen plenty of times before. It was bloody heavy, mind, and took up a lot of space in the department minibus on the way home.

Length? About half way down Trumpington Street.

Sorry it's a long one, this is my first, so be gentle...
(rockdoctor, Thu 10 Jan 2008, 13:59, 4 replies)

Road Signs
'The Pitts' thing reminds me of some students at uni who stole all the entrance signs to a place called Park Bottom (it's near Redruth in Cornwall) so that they could be hung up in the bar along with all the other signs and flags and huge plastic frogs people had stolen over the years. All the signs were replaced at great cost, but were all promptly stolen again by the next lot of students.
(Prawn, Thu 10 Jan 2008, 15:46, closed)

Beatles fans
I was told that the street sign for Abbey Road was stolen so frequently that the council there ended up painting it on the brick wall.

(Heresay, so unsure of truth)
(Greencloud Wanted to go fishing on, Fri 11 Jan 2008, 8:59, closed)

Phlegmatic?
Er, did you mean 'pragmatic', by any chance?
(DjArcas, Fri 11 Jan 2008, 16:24, closed)

Phlegmatic

phlegmatic
One entry found.

phlegmatic

Main Entry:
phleg·mat·ic Listen to the pronunciation of phlegmatic
Pronunciation:
\fleg-ˈma-tik\
Function:
adjective
Date:
14th century

1 : resembling, consisting of, or producing the humor phlegm 2 : having or showing a slow and stolid temperament
synonyms see impassive
— phleg·mat·i·cal·ly Listen to the pronunciation of phlegmatically \-ti-k(ə-)lē\ adverb

My parents live on Fords Rd. You know, like the car. Bogans steal the sign.

That was a good post, keep it up.
(Emily Bruce-Dickinson http://jovialfellow.blogspot.com/, Sat 12 Jan 2008, 6:53, closed)