I once had a job in a supermarket unpacking boxes
Some of the boxes had blue packing tape, while other boxes were secured with brown adhesive tape. My job was to cut open the boxes, and stack the contents on the shelves. I used a knife we called a Stanley knife, though Stanley was just a brand name. It was just a standard cutting knife with an extendable and replaceable razor. I would cut the tape down the seam of the tape, where the two edges of the box lid met. That way, I could open the box without damaging it, and shoppers could then use the boxes to take home their groceries if they wanted. Some of the boxes we would flatten by jumping on them and throwing them in the skip in the rear alley of the supermarket. Obviously, this was after I had unpacked the contents. Some boxes, especially the fruit boxes had a waxy coating on them. This stopped them absorbing the moisture of the fruit or vegetables and getting soggy. Occasionaly, some of the box contents would have broken during transportation, and the inside of the box would be soaked with Norsca body wash, for example. Or Tropicana Fruit Drink, to give another example. I think they called it a Drink because it didn't have enough juice in it to be labeled a juice, but I don't really know much about product labeling laws, if I'm honest. The job didn't pay very much, and was fairly monotonous, but I got to learn a lot about boxes.
( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:21, 7 replies)

Norca body wash?
Is that for washing Norcs?
(username failed moderation, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:25, closed)

thanks for pointing this out
I've corrected it and I think my story is the better for it
( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:27, closed)

I think it's
slightly poorer for it.

Soap developed especially for Norks can't possibly be a bad thing.
(username failed moderation, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:35, closed)

Fascinating
Tell us more
( Ungersven would support SpankyHanky's patreon, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:27, closed)

I'm on the edge of my seat here.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:38, closed)

We had something a bit better than a generic cutting knife
It was a kind of plastic hook with a metal blade hidden within, so you could "spear" the end of a strip of tape then pull down and as the gap inside the hook was too small to admit anything other than a piece of cardboard you were much less likely to remove fingers whilst doing it.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:39, closed)

This all sounds rather cumbersome.
I find a doorkey poked through the tape about 1" from the edge allows you to rip the whole seam. You then need to put pressure on the lateral tapes, repeast the poke with the key and they also will tear.

Less cutting required, and you need never worry about losing or blunting your Stanley knife, or indeed a generic copy of it such as Homebase sell for about 2 pounds.
(username failed moderation, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:42, closed)

Oh no, this special hook-thing was brilliant
The only problem was the blade in it was so sharp that eventually inquiring minds would start looking around to find other things that might fit in there, and sooner or later you've cut in half pretty much everything you own that's thinner than about 7mm
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:51, closed)

Plain Stanley rules for me.
You open it as your hand goes past the end of the tape strip holding the top flaps to the side, cutting it across it's width then you slip the fingers of your other hand under the flap at one side as your cutting hand loops back around and slips between the box flaps. You then run the blade the length of the gap until reaching the end whereupon you flick your hand back and find the blade in an ideal position to cut the remaining end of the tape holding the flaps to the side of the box.
The beauty of this technique is that it works for any thickness/strength of tape from cheap packing tape to Duck Tape without any change to the action and ensures that neither the blade nor anything else contact the contents of the box during opening.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Tue 15 May 2012, 17:26, closed)

You said box flaps
PFFFFT
( Snappyuk gets BIGGER with free sample., Tue 15 May 2012, 21:17, closed)

I read doorkey as donkey, and snorted into my drink
(jono_h, Tue 15 May 2012, 21:04, closed)

WE HAVE A WINNAH!

(Dan dan dan They tik urh jerbs!!!, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:47, closed)

This post will not be beaten this week.
It's almost as good as the pencil shavings one a few weeks ago.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 15 May 2012, 18:03, closed)

Oh I don't know, theres one about getting leaflets from a shop somewhere..

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 15 May 2012, 20:48, closed)

This reply is a work of genius
And, in some ways, it's irrelevant whether OP was consciously trying to make this story as dull as possible (in which case, bravo!) or whether he/she/it is just dull. Because it is a piece of literary genius.
(Sir Itchalot has a very self-referential signature, Wed 16 May 2012, 22:37, closed)

My doctor
told me not to be ashamed of having thrush on my bell-end as it was called balanitis and was essentially no different to having athlete's foot, and is just as easily treated.
(judgetheobscure used to sweep in butchers' shops., Wed 16 May 2012, 23:55, closed)