To quote Jack Dee, why do people take their kids to supermarkets to hit them?
Kids and supermarkets are excellent opportunities for family strife. Especially these days when it's not just the sweets by the till that the precious little darlings clap eyes on and need to be prised away from the object of their affections with a crowbar amid much bawling that would lead someone in the next aisle to assume they were being tortured by the Yakuza.

My favourite little playlet that I observed not so long ago was the 3-year old toddler who trailed behind his parents down the magazine aisle when he stopped dead and gazed fixedly at a colouring-in book, eyes shining with longing and obsessional aquisitiveness. A few yards later on the parents caught on that their precious was no longer keeping pace with them, turned around and called his name to get his attention.

In an astonishing Pavolvian reaction he looked to them, then to the book, then to them, and without them even having to say 'No, you can't have it' he obviously recognised the pattern, that he was not going to be able to have it, his face immediately crumpled into a miserable grimace, tears squirting from his eyes and the caterwauling rising wail emitted from his tiny presence 'But I want it I want it iwawitiwawiwawiawaowuiowuoauiouwoiauouwiuowua' reaching ear-piercing decibels very quickly, breath expended and out of words, a brief pause before a huge gulp of air which I knew was to be the refuelling of the lungs in preparation for a massive scream, I covered my ears just before the hand-quivering, foot-pedalling, anguished screech emitted forth.

I said this was obviously part of a pattern, right? Well, the parents certainly seemed to think so and their trump card was to wait until the screech declined into wild sobs and then said 'OK, we're going now' and turned their back on him to walk off. Which, much to my not surprise, managed to generate an EVEN LOUDER squeal as his terror of being abandoned overcame his complaint at being denied a colouring-in book and in a howl modulated by running footsteps jogging his diaphragm, chased them down the aisle wile bawling 'Don't go don't go dowgo dowgodowgodowgo' etc. which started to descend into the guttaral growl more often found in death metal vocalist repertoire.

I later saw the little screambox at the tills while I was getting my goods scanned and he looked like he'd seen things that no mortal man should see, the hollow-eyed unfocussed mute miserable expression on his face. All because of a bloody colouring in book.

Imagine if you worked there! It must happen about 500 times a day. There but for the grace of God go I.
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Tue 15 May 2012, 17:59, 9 replies)

"There but for the grace of God go I."
You diddn't like colouring then?
(speedevil, Tue 15 May 2012, 18:32, closed)

LOL
(fully knowing the irony of saying 'lol' on b3ta)

:-)
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Tue 15 May 2012, 18:40, closed)

At least they didn't give in to him.

( number5 has been fighting tramps and losing., Tue 15 May 2012, 18:39, closed)

Absolutely
They stand out as a beacon of proper parenting in a supermarket of people who were emotionally blackmailed into getting a 20 foot trampoline.
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Tue 15 May 2012, 18:41, closed)

Some people should not be allowed to breed.

I can say this because I had the misfortune of having to work on one of the computers in a courtroom here this morning, while the judge was hearing "temporary injunction" cases to legally keep feuding divorcing parents apart.
(Maclir, Tue 15 May 2012, 20:26, closed)

Short answer - we can't all afford an au pair.
My sprogs mostly past that stage now but we found that an agreement before shopping of no "I wants" or inappropriate behavior would usually elicit a calm, peaceful trip and garner said bairn with a small treat at the end (usually some small crafty type thing - no food) as a reward worked fairly effectively.
Not to say we didn't have our moments but a quick explanation that this would not get her anywhere & prompt ignoral got the point across.

Doesn't stop me lying on the floor, screaming & having a "breakdance" fit when the missus won't let me get a spanky, whizz-bang new drill at the local hardware store.
"iwanitiwanitiwanitiwanitiwanitiwanitiwanitiwanitiwanitiwanitiwanitiwanitiwanitiwanitiwanitiwanitiwanitiwanitiwanitiwanitiwanitiwanitiwanitiwanitiwanitiwanitiwanitiwanitiwanitiwanitiwanitiwanitiwanitiwanitiwanitiwanitiwanitiwanitiwanitiwanit!"
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 15 May 2012, 20:53, closed)

The right tool
will always pay for itself.
The right fool on the other hand..,
(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Wed 16 May 2012, 1:17, closed)

I saw a wonderful one recently of a child throwing itself to the floor in M&S, wailing for all the world to hear, as the Mummy Dearest tried to coax it up with treats.
It was a great joy to see the father leave the trolley down the aisle, come back, pick up the child by the back of the belt, put him into the trolley seats, then looked into the child's eyes and calmly (but sternly) said "Stop it."

Child immediately stopped making any a racket, as the guy carried on with his shopping, leaving Mummy trailing in his wake. Absolutely cracked me up.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 16 May 2012, 8:34, closed)

This all sounds fairly normal.
Most parents will have worked out a similar kind of 'No, you're not getting it' routine.

My kids will get the same reaction. A wordless no, and if it continues, a bye bye and we'll wander off and hide round the corner.

Only difference to this one is that ours would be completely fine by the time we got to the till. They forget what they wanted as soon as it's out of sight.
(username failed moderation, Wed 16 May 2012, 9:11, closed)