Top Notch Customer Service in a Supermarket
Can’t do the time travel wibbly lines so opens a portal that throws us back in time

(((())))

Anywhoo, around 30ish years ago I was doing the usual trip to the shops with the wife and go buy some things for the house that I don’t really give a rats ass about.

After a decent few hours looking at electrical appliances the missus chose a new coffee maker and something to do with poached eggs that would make our lives complete (Until the next time an infomercial brainwashed her anyway- Being married to a Yank and living in their country can be a pain in the ass at times).

Paying at the till was pretty hard a job, I was wanting help looking for the coffee maker in an alternative colour but the two assistants were sat to one side looking slack jawed at us and seemed to be talking more about what the older one had done while on his holiday in England! Grumbling about lack of respect for customers I made my way to the till while my wife tried to placate me, after all the older bloke was handicapped, probably working at the place as a way to feel useful after some horrific workplace accident. I started to agree with her he did look pretty fucked up but I think he should not be shopfront if he could not do anything, besides his stump was scaring me.

Eventually we found a competent staff member, got our maker in the right colour and made our way to the till which was empty..I looked around and who did I see....the same older bloke that had riled me earlier chatting up a pretty hot member of staff that should have been on the till. I was pissed, I put the coffee maker down and made my way over to the two ready to give them a piece of my mind…..only to be beaten to the punch.

Some old bird, my guess an ex employee or maybe a customer pissed at the lack of service kicked off. I will admit that she was a little too harsh with what she did, I mean a few sharp words may have done the trick but this mad cow went at it like a man possessed and proceeded to physically assault the bloke and then threaten to smash the till over the head of the female employee. I did the cowardly thing and stood in fear, this woman was a nutter. Thankfully the assaulted shop worker got back up and told the nutjob that she should leave, naturally nutcase lady was not to happy about this and it all kicked off again, using various bits of shop equipment as aids to the fight which thankfully ended when the same store assistant used the best defence used by many US shop workers… pulling out a shotgun. The situation defused shortly after that and we paid for our stuff and buggered off pretty sharpish- as did the guy who had used the gun, I think he may have quit as he seemed to throw off his crappy store uniform. Major thanks to him, I judged him as a shelf stacking monkey but he proved that I was wrong. Shame I cant remember his name really….I think it might have been Ash but I definitely know that he worked in the housewares department.

Didn’t get why he said "hail to the king" though, that was a decent catchphrase but made no sense to me. Meh.. (Wanders off to eat Battenberg)
(mon bison powered by magnets, Wed 16 May 2012, 10:18, 6 replies)

Right to the end, right to the fucking end.
FFS.

*grudgingly clicks*
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:32, closed)

had me until shotgun

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 16 May 2012, 12:46, closed)

what them up there said
:D
(DreddPirateBob has watched every scifi film ever on, Wed 16 May 2012, 13:12, closed)

I prefered the directors cut
But that wouldn't have been much of a story...
( Blind Meach Cautiously optimistic, Wed 16 May 2012, 18:33, closed)

Hmmm yes, probably something like
After a bit of a holiday away I should have gone to work at my job at S-Mart. I was really prepped for it and spent a bit of my time away trying to show the locals what our store did.

Sadly I made a bit of a cock up with my sleeping arrangements and overslept a bit.

Love

Ash Williams
(mon bison powered by magnets, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:27, closed)

genious
Had me till the end
Have a click
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:22, closed)