Tales Of Woe
.
I think I've posted these before in other QOTWs about my brother but they bear retelling but I'll be brief.



Told me that to deal with an attacking dog you should stick your hand down its throat and grab it's tongue. Years later I was attacked by a Rotty and had the chance to put this into practice. Result? One badly mauled hand with a chunk out of it.

Once pushed me off a wall and I landed, back first, onto an iron spike. Blood gushing everywhere. My mother eventually arrived to find my brother catching the blood in a cup and making me drink it " To replace the blood he's losing"

Once he built a tower of tires and made me climb in the middle of them. Then he was going to cap it with a full car wheel. I popped my head up at the wrong time and he dropped a car wheel on my head. If I ever go bald I'm going to have a lovely circular scar on my bonce.

But these days we're best mates. He was there for me when my life went tits-up.

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Wed 31 Dec 2008, 11:16, 7 replies)

y'know what i find funny
you've been just about everywhere, done everything, have all these fab **stories**

yet you spend your whole lfe spewing them on here..

be more selective mate, nobody likes a bullshitter.
(dresden, Wed 31 Dec 2008, 12:23, closed)

Because you're so incredibly funny and entertaining yourself, right?

Instead of posting narky teenage rants about other people's posts, why don't you try writing a few decent ones yourself? You just sound like you're throwing a hissy fit.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Wed 31 Dec 2008, 13:07, closed)

Woof Woof
.
"What's that Lassie"

"Issa cunt"

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Wed 31 Dec 2008, 13:22, closed)

My word!
You really are a cunt aren't you? Eh? Aren't you?

Goodness me!
( IHaveABadFeelingAboutThis most likely working from home on, Wed 31 Dec 2008, 14:23, closed)

Bomber harris
I think he had the right idea. Maybe legless should flatten this Dresden?
(kickstandrich last had sex with your mum/sister/wife/daughter on, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 21:13, closed)

interesting, yet disgusting
May have to steal the one about the iron spike for the next time I teach First Aid.
(The Incredible Sulk Finally remembered his password on, Wed 31 Dec 2008, 23:38, closed)

Clicked
for 'to replace the blood he's losing'

Genius!
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 1 Jan 2009, 11:32, closed)