A military one...
There's this chemist and he's serving a customer when a kilted Scot's Guard walks in, slams a punctured condom on the counter and says "How much to repair this?"

The chemist tries to explain they don't repair condoms, they only sell new ones, but the Scot's Guard just glares at him and repeats: "How much to REPAIR this!"

Eventually, with the customer he was originally serving getting angry, the chemist gives the Scot's Guard the first figure that comes to mind: "Okay, 50p!"

To his surprise, the Guard just nods, picks up the condom and marches out. Relieved, the chemist goes back to serving the customer.

A week later he's all but forgotten about the incident, and he's serving another customer, when the Scot's Guard marches back in with a HUGE box.

Slamming it down on the counter, the Guard looks the chemist in the eye and says: "The regiment accepts ye're offer!"
(Snitter the Rat, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 23:34, Reply)