Sorry about the crapness of these but...
here we go.
a young boy is in the car with his father. His father nearly hits someone and yells "Bastard!". The boys asks "Dad, what does bastard mean?" The father replys "Its another word for 'stranger' son". When they arrive home, the little boy finds his mother stuffing a turkey. She loses her watch and shouts "Fuck!" He asks her what the word fuck means. She answers "Its another word for 'stuff' son". SO the little boy wanders upstairs where his father is having a shave. He cuts himself and yells "Bollocks!". The young boy asks what bollocks means. The dad retorts "Its another word for 'chin' son". Suddenly there is a knock at the door. The little boy, full of newfound wisdom answers it. There are 2 policemen at the door. He greets them with
"Hello you bastards, dont worry my mothers fucking a turkey and my fathers shaving his bollocks"


Another one...
(this one is sick in itself without the punchline)


A teenager is asked by his mother to babysit for his little sister. She instructs him to go in the bath when she does to keep her company. She leaves whilst the teenager is telling his young sister about penises, but referring to them as "Sammy The Snake". When she returns, she finds the teenager, on the couch, with a towel around his manhood. She asks him whats wrong whe nhis sister arrives saying
"Well we were in the bath, when sammy squirted me"
"So..." said the mother
"So i bit his head off!"

Last one


A young mother is pregnant with triplets whe nshe is shot by a gunman. A few years down the road, her first born, a girl, comes in and says "Mum i just had a wee and a bullet came out". The mother is shcoked, and it is increased whe nher other daughter comes i nand says "mum iowas having a wee and a bullet came out". Then, the boy comes in looking pleased wit hhimself. "Dont tell me" the motjer says, "you had a wee and a bullet came out"
"No" , the boy says.
"I was having a wank and i shot the dog"
(javier, Sun 12 Sep 2004, 15:28, Reply)