Not sick, but still funny. I hope.
A young, heavily pregnant Irish lass is involved in a car crash and is put into a coma. When she wakes up several weeks later, she discovers that she has given birth.

"What happened to my baby?" she asks a nurse.
"Well, miss, you had a boy and a girl, and your brother Seamus is looking after them for you. We didn't know how long you'd be out, so he named them for you."
"But Seamus is a dickhead! What did he call them?" the girl asks.
"He called the girl Denise".
"Thats not too bad," the girl says, "what did he call the boy?"
"Denephew."
(Wrecked Tums, Tue 14 Sep 2004, 13:40, Reply)