A rather genteel young man went for a walk
in remote countryside, and as the day wore on, he became aware of a need to answer a call of nature. Being of polite upbringing, it did not occur to him to do this outside, and he scanned his surroundings for a building with facilities he could avail himself of. Being well off the beaten track, such a dwelling was not forthcoming and he plodded on in some discomfort until he reached an open stretch of moorland. In the very far distance, he espied what appeared to be a cottage, and made his way thither with haste. As he drew nearer, he saw that the cottage was more of a shack than a habitable building, and was possibly an abandoned ruin. The door was hanging loose and there were cracks in the windows, but as he approached, he noticed there was a thin trickle of smoke coming out of the chimney. His hopes thus raised, he approached the tumbledown wreck and knocked tentatively on the door. No reply was evident so he knocked again, a little louder this time, and then again, with more urgency. Eventually, he heard a shuffling sound from within, and the door began to open a crack. To his horror, a pustulent and withered old crone peered out at him, and addressed him in fevered tones. The young man was tempted to make his excuses and leave, but a twinge from his gut reminded him of his urgent obligation and he asked hesitantly if the kind householder would let him use her bathroom for a moment. A series of grunts and gestures of the scabrous hand directed him to an outhouse behind the hovel, and as he approached it, he was guided also by the odour emanating forth from it. Again, he was tempted to turn, but his bowel stubbornly refused to release him, and he pushed open the door. A rat scuttled over his foot and he saw that the privy was even more basic than he had feared, and consisted only of a wooden bucket with a lid. He wrapped his hand in a pocket handkerchief, grimacing all the while, and lifted the lid. The sight which greeted him was the most appalling of his life. The bucket was full to the brim with oozing, bubbling excrement, and had obviously not been emptied for some years. At this point, his stomach wrenched, forcing urgency upon his bowel even while he gagged at the horror of it. Bracing himself, he unfastened his breeches and lowered himself tentatively backwards. He could hear the vile old woman cackling in the yard outside, and attempted to block his mind to the utter degradation of his situation. As he sank into the bucket, he felt the bubbling morass slide around his buttocks, and this hideous sensation and the foul stench overcame him suddenly, causing him to vomit copiously.

And you know how a siphon works, don't you?
(Hermioninny, Wed 7 Dec 2005, 22:03, Reply)