Have a collection of a few....
Man goes to the doctors..
Doctor says, "I'm afraid i have two lots of bad news for you. First, I'm afraid you have terminal cancer."
Man says, "Oh my god, that's terrible I'm going to die aren't I, what's the other bad news?"
Doc replies, "Well you also have Alzheimers disease."
"Oh", says the man, "well it could be worse, at least I don't have cancer."

****

Q: What's black and blue and hates sex?
A: The seven-year-old in my basement.

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Whats yellow and lives off dead beetles?
Yoko Ono
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What do 54,000 abused women every year have in common?
They don't fucking listen

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A Man walks into a chemists, and says "I need some birth control for my 14yr old daughter".
The chemist looks a bit shocked by this and queries "Your 14 year old daughter is sexually active?".
The man thinks for a moment then replies..
"Not really, she just lies there like her mother"

****

Whats the best thing about fucking a nine year old boy?
Watching him cry in court.

****

Q: Why can't you have sex with pensioners?
A: Have you ever tried taking apart a cheese & ham toastie?


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Why did Princess Diana cross the road?

She wasn't wearing her seatbelt.


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What would Princess Diana be doing if she was alive today?

Scratching on the lid of her coffin


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What's black and loud?

Stevie Wonder answering the iron

****

Tomorrow was Katie's birthday and she was excited
"Guess how old I'm going to be tomorrow!" she yelled to her dad.

"Don't know" he replied, playing along.

"I'll be six!" she replied.

She went into the kitchen and asked her grandad, "guess how old I'll be tomorrow!"

"To answer this I need you to pull down your knickers." he says.

So Katie does this. Her grandad inserts two fingers into her cunt, moves them around, pulls them out, sniffs, then licks them.

"You'll be six tomorrow" Grandad says.

"How did you know that?" replies Katie.

"Because I heard you saying it to your dad" was the reply.

****

What's black and has 27 tits??
The rubbish bag outside Kylies cancer clinic.
(grr_boy, Thu 8 Dec 2005, 8:59, Reply)