A bit long but......................
Three guys are in a pub chattaing about how nothing exciting happens to them anymore. One of them hits upon the idea that they should all get smashed, go home and whatever their wives say they should take literally thus giving them each an amusing story for the following week.

So they get drunk and head their seperate ways

The following week they all meet up and tell their stories.
Firstly a battered looking Dave goes first.

"Well when i got home i fell over the gate, smashed a milk bottle and crashed into the front door. The wife opened it and said Well wake the whole street up why don't you!!
So i did."

They all have a chuckle at Daves story then a frazzled looking Mike steps up.
"Thats nothing, when i got in i sparked up a fag and dropped it on the carpet. So the wife says well burn the bloody house down why dont you?
So i did."

Again they all chuckle and then they turn to Pete as he places a carrier bag full of rancid meat and what seemed to be hair on the table.
"Well thats nothing, when i got home i felt really horny so i went up the bedroom, got into bed and started to finger the wife. She turned to me and said well you can cut that out for a start..............."
(Hazyboy, Tue 21 Feb 2006, 12:17, Reply)