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This is a question Real-life slapstick

Fact: When someone walks into a lamp-post it makes a very satisfying and hugely hilarious "Ding!" noise. However, it is not quite so funny when the post is in the middle of town and you are the victim. Tell us about hilarious prat-falls.

Thanks to Bob Todd for the suggestion

(, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 12:07)
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A rousing finale.
A few years ago I was doing a concert in Northamptonshire. The main piece for the evening was Shostakovich's Symphony No.10, which is fast, furious and very tricksy. Nevertheless, we ploughed through the entire piece with nary a mistake (something we had hitherto been unable to do, even in the final rehearsal). Our conductor was beside himself with joy and pride, and getting ever-more excited at the piece drew to its dramatic, rousing finale.

Sadly he got a bit over-excited and violent with his conducting, and managed to neatly impale himself in the nose with his baton. He conducted the final few bars with his dress shirt rapidly being stained with blood, and then fell off the podium.
(, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 17:36, closed)
I wish the baton had stayed in his nose and he'd carried on without it.

Incidentally, is it true that the baton isn't really necessary?
(, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 18:12, closed)
It's a stick, you can just use your finger as long as everyone can see (oo-er missus!)
(, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 22:03, closed)
^it does leave some nice possibilities, though
I'm trying to convince one of my friends to conduct the Fireworks music with an indoor sparkler. Hopefully it'll get smaller and smaller so he'll have to exaggerate more and more... should be interesting. :D

And OP, this is even funnier than I thought the first time! :D **click**

EDIT: For the hell of it:
(, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 8:04, closed)
It is one of the most memorable gigs I've done... there was a prom we did (Brahms' German Requiem) which I remember chiefly because the baritone soloist was Simon Keenleyside and I spent the entire concert staring at his arse...
(, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 10:15, closed)
That's what requiems were written for.

EDIT: What do you play? From experience as a wind player we're lucky if we get a glimpse of elbow...
(, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 14:48, closed)


EDIT: I mention Simon Keenleyside's arse because it is one of the most beautiful trouse-clad bottoms I have ever seen. I was happy to spend the concert looking at it.
(, Mon 25 Jan 2010, 11:13, closed)
as long as the conductor can keep the orchestra together, playing the right notes at the right time (in the right order), and get across whatever emotions/dynamics/etc they want, they can conduct with anything: their hands, a shitty stick, a small mongoloid puppy. The world is their oyster.
(, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 10:14, closed)

(, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 13:52, closed)
Ending ftw :)

(, Sat 23 Jan 2010, 15:46, closed)

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