cherchez l'homme
ok, now i'm working from home - instead of heading up the motorway, courtesy of the bastard scumsucking thieving gyppos that have moved into/trashed/raped for electricity, water, fixtures and fittings on my client's property to squat there, anyone got a gun and feel like some target practice?? - and not at work:

the only time i actually smoked cigarettes myself was at university. armyboy and i were on one of our frequent breaks and i really fancied the identical twin of my flatmate's boyfriend. he and some mates were coming round one night and he was a massive stoner. so although i've never been into it, i thought i'd better practice so i didn't look like a complete twat in front of the lovely chris.

it made me heave, it made me cough, it made me wheeze, it made the room spin, but by the end of the tenth fag i looked cool enough. by this time the boys had arrived, so my flatmate and i sashayed into the lounge.

however, they were already so stoned that chris wouldn't have noticed if i'd coughed a lung up into his lap. still, i persevered, lowered my neckline, raised my hemline, and after a while we were snuggled under my duvet on the sofa passing a joint back and forth. everything was blurry apart from the glittering gold of his hair and the brilliant blue of his eyes. and then his face was swimming nearer to mine.... and then.....

i woke up. cold. alone. my face stuck to the sofa with drool and a huge brown burnmark on the new duvet.

turns out i'd been literally mid sentence chatting chris up when i'd gently nosedived into his lap and passed clean out. they'd been completely and totally unable to wake me.

gah!! stupid weed. i never did get to pull chris...... mind you, i saw him in clapham a few months ago though. as the years have not been that kind to him, i think i can live with it!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 20 Mar 2008, 21:34, Reply)