Ah, I remember my first cigarette. And my second.
Me and my friend had managed to swipe one from somewhere, and after getting home off the school bus, we went through the park to smoke it.

I forgot, however, that my house backed on to it and my parents saw us sneak furtively past the swings, heading to the "tunnel" to smoke our illcit booty.

I don't think they saw us do the deed, but stepping through the door a good half hour later, intrigued as to where we had been, the inevitable question came, "Where have you been?"

With near-perfect comedy timing we responded, at the same time, "At the shop", and "In town".

My parents seemed to let this go, but convinced I stank of smoke, I jumped straight in the shower and afterwards, drowned myself with Lynx. (Mmm, lynx - truly the choice deoderant of the gods.)

Next day, my friend pointed out that if I was gonna do that every time I had a fag, it probably wasn't worth taking up smoking.

I should have heeded his advice.

My next episode of smoking occured in my third year of secondary school.

All through Double Maths we had been planning to go for a crafty smoke at the top of the school field.

At the end of the lesson, though, the teacher asked me where I was going, and - I'll never forget this, for shame - I replied, "Down there, I'm not going to smoke!" And I ran out of the room. Literally, I ran.

WTF? What a pussy!!! She only asked me cos if I was going past the staff room, she wanted me to drop off some books off.

It was at that point that I realised I was never gonna be a criminal mastermind, cos I am a pussy.

Now, though, I smoke like a badger cos it's fuckin' great.
( nightbuffalo needs more duct tape, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 4:00, 2 replies)

Lynx
Lynx is the heady smell of teenage desperation.
(meat2veg hello!, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 7:59, closed)

Funnily enough
I've had more girls compliment me on Lynx (Africa I think it was) than the Armani or Polo Sport which i normally wear. Go figure.
( Moonraker isn't the droid you were looking for, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 12:43, closed)