John Carpenter For The Win
I recently "purchased" the soundtrack to Big Trouble In Little China. With clammy, eager hands, I transferred the songs onto my MP3 player. They were a clutch of eighties masterstrokes: rock and roll infused with thumping synth and hammy oriental overtones. The second track in particular, Pork Chop Express, was made for strutting, and that's just what I did.

I left the house and decided to strut. I had no particular destination. I just strutted (strat?). As the song was coming to an end and my daydreams of being Kurt Russell in a Fu Man Chu wifebeater began to fade, I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket. It turned out to be a company I'd sent my CV to a few weeks earlier. They invited me in for an interview.

In a good mood now, I queued up Pork Chop Express again, strat into town and checked my bank account. There was an extra £150 in there - a rebate from BT. Apparently I'd been paying too much each month for some time.

Things were going well. I decided to get out some cash, have a coffee and then mooch about in town. After some strutting/mooching, I went into a newsagents for a paper. While I was there I bought a scratchcard for the first time in about three years. I won £20.

In the end, I attended that interview, got that job, spent that £20 on some Lego for my son, got some cash out of a notoriously tight-fisted company and imagined I was Jack Burton for a day.

I attribute all of this to John Carpenter and his juicy Pork Chop Express.
(Sir Harrington Titsmith disgraced himself on, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 14:26, 3 replies)

This is really rather marvellous
*click*
(anvil, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 15:49, closed)

This...
has made my day. Good work sir!
*clicks*
(FerretTrout be illin', Fri 29 Jan 2010, 10:56, closed)

I may be drunk...
and this might be overly aggressive, but that sounds like a FUCKING GEEZERISH day.
(Captain Sensible "I'll be your animal in a yellow plastic bin", Fri 29 Jan 2010, 23:02, closed)