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This is a question The Soundtrack of your Life

Che Grimsdale writes: Now that Simon Cowell's stolen Everybody Hurts, tell us about songs that mean something to you - good, bad, funny or tragic, appropriate or totally inappropriate songs that were playing at key times.

(, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 13:30)
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Senility, dementia and Rock & Roll.
Some time last autumn I was sat alone on a bus when I heard British Sea Power's epic "Remember Me" for the first time. The lyrics of the song moved me deeply. In fact I cried. Here's why:

My Granddad (who's now 96! Cripes!) has for a long time been slowly losing his mind. Every time they have come to visit him, he has been accusing his infinitely patient family members of stealing from him and even plotting his death by attempting to starve him, so that they might get his house after his death (which is owned by the council in any case). He was rude and downright racist to the poor nurses who were charged with visiting him to check up on him (and silently absorb his venomous abuse). Meanwhile he has become increasingly unable to look after himself in his own house.

Our family decided it was best he moved into a home, which (being an extremely stubborn Pole) he was absolutely dead against. After coming out of hospital following a particularly nasty fall they tricked him into visiting a home and staying the night, so he thought they were breaching his human rights (which to be fair, they were a bit). He hasn't left yet, and this was in November 2009.
My Granddad is a constant source of lament for my members and a huge emotional drain on my mother (who visits him most days, followed by an obligatory bitch about him and his hateful, demented, stubborn antics to her sister, who visits him when my mother doesn't). It's not my Granddad's fault of course. He's simply a lonely and depressed old man who never got over the death of his wife (16 years ago now) who's body is growing increasingly decrepit and mind growing steadily more enfeebled. He resents the way my family treat him like a child but nowadays lacks the eloquence and presence of mind to express this. He treasures the fantasy that a member of our family (my mum's sister, a divorcee) will give up their life, move into his house and look after him full time, and is filled with nothing but spite and resentment towards us because this hasn't happened yet (and truthfully never will). He' a truly miserable cunt and it would be better for both him and us if he just keeled over and died. I hope to God I don't get that old.

Anyone who's familiar with the song "Remember Me" will know what why it resonated so. It's a tragic song that explores the the process of ageing and inevitable mental decline. Here's the first verse if you
haven't heard it:

"Do you worry about your health?
Do you watch it slowly change?
And when you listen to yourself, does it feel like somebody else?
And did you notice when you began to disappear,
Was it slowly at first
Until there was nobody really there?
Increment by increment..."

Sorry for length/lack of hilarity. Writing this has been rather cathartic though.
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 20:28, 1 reply)
Sadly this reminds me of my granddad...
...who is also a stubborn old Pole. We live on the other side of the world from him but my mum still flies over once a year to visit him, and always comes back depressed and stressed out from the experience. It's very sad because I remember him as a jolly man who was always happy to see us, and now, like you say, he's just bitter and depressed and mourning my grandmother (who died a few years back), and takes it out on my mum and her brother. I can totally empathise with you on this one.
(, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 1:36, closed)

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