Star Wars ...
Like many others, I loved Star Wars when I was a kid. It was the epitome of awesomeness. Massive space ships, laser guns, daring do, telekinesis and a well tough Princess.

My two girls now love the kiddies version Star Wars: the Clone Wars. The squillion dollar an episode kid safe TV series prequel. They're nuts for it. I walked into the lounge room yesterday to find the eldest having a fit on the floor with her little sister standing over her casting lightning from her fingertips. I didn't know whether to call the ambulance or the priest.

"We're playing Siths Mummy!"

The eldest recently came down with the flu. Doctor took a snot swab which came back 'unknown influenza variant'. I was well impressed and bored my suffering child with the petty consolation that scientists were busy at this very minute creating a vaccine for this new strain to be included in the flu shot next year. You're welcome.

She looked alarmed and asked me if flu shots were made from people's boogers. That was a tough one to answer, so I fell back on the oldest parental trick in the book; distraction.

"How about we rent out the first/last/original three Star Wars films on DVD. You haven't seen those yet." Now over the episodes of Clone Wars, I had filled the girls in with a fair bit of the backstory/future events of the Lore of Lucas.

So I curled up on the couch with my poorly firstborn, looking forward to sharing a nostalgic piece of epic childhood fun.

Oh. Dear. God. It was fucking awful. Once the scales of childhood fall from your eyes, the pre-CGI special effects made from models and animatronics look so cheap and tawdry compared to IDL's latest offering.

The lines were shit. Carrie Fisher was stoned. Mark Hamill was a squealy shite and even Harrison Ford in tights failed to impress.

So instead of the magical nerd love moment, we sat there in awkward silence. I asked my daughter afterwards what her favourite part was.

"When Luke got his hand chopped off."
(Que?, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 4:54, 7 replies)

Sacrilege!

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Thu 13 Jun 2013, 7:39, closed)

10/10 best trolling on here for AGES

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 9:04, closed)

You're doing it wrong.
Proper effects beat CGI, and I make sure that my kids know that.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 9:07, closed)

My missus asked me on Saturday if it was okay if she watched the original trilogy
After I'd stopped laughing, we watched them all over the weekend. They remain great.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 9:38, closed)

Christ your life sounds like a crazy sitcom!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 10:38, closed)

Why didn't you just tell her they don't make the vaccine from boogers, but use viruses and chicken eggs?

( The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 12:30, closed)

Out!
/qotw is no place for the truth.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 12:33, closed)