Situation Vacant: "Trainee Accountant" - Must be daddy’s little princess
Accountancy is one of the few professions that doesn’t require a university degree to get into. If you walk into any accountancy practice, the chances are you will find that at the top the partners are fat middle-aged men and at the bottom the trainees are 18-year-old willowy blonds with mobile phones attached to their heads. The first rule of statistics is that a correlation does not prove cause and effect, but I think you can all deduce why time and time again I have seen attractive teenage girls with a sports science A-Level hired by the directors instead of the more suitable Maths and Physics graduates.

At a previous employment the partners called me into a meeting. They wanted my input on why we had a high turnover of trainees. What I wanted to say was “You sad old fuckers, perhaps if you employed trainees on their potential to become accountants rather than the ability of their tits to defy gravity we might not spend a fortune training incompetent airheads who fuck off to study "Tourism & Leisure" at university”. What I actually said was “Perhaps I should sit in on the interviews and ask some technical questions”. They agreed.

It wasn’t long until we had to replace a couple of blonds who had decided they were "too creative" for accountancy and wanted to study cock "Human Resources" at university. So I had a day of sitting in on interviews, listening to the partners prattle on about bollocks until the end of the interview when I got the chance to ask my technical questions. Most of the candidates could have done the job and they answered my technical questions with ease.

Then we got to Olivia. To cut a long story short she was absolutely stunning and the partners were dribbling down their ties at the sight of her. Even though the qualifications on her CV read like a list of the worlds most pointless subjects the interview lasted an hour longer than any of the other candidates. The partners lapped up her self-important monologue about how she had been head girl at school, captain of the hockey team, had a pony and had completed a WHOLE week of work experience at daddy’s company. We heard a lot about daddy and his company.

Then it was my turn to ask my technical questions. Lets see if you can answer them, but be warned, they are a bit technical.

Me: “Hello Olivia”.
Olivia: “Hello” *Eyelashes flutter*
Me: “How did you get here today?”
Olivia: “Pardon?…”
Me: “How. Did. You. Get. Here. Today?” (Already suspecting the answer)
Olivia: “Umm, daddy gave me a lift”
Me: “How will you be getting home?”
Olivia: “Daddy is waiting for me outside”
Me: “If we were to offer you the role, how would you get to work every day”
Olivia: “I….I don’t know”

The moronic fuckers still wanted to hire her, saying that she seemed keen. I managed to convince them that the 18-year-old lad with A-Levels in accountancy & law might just be a more suitable candidate. He had also passed my technical questions with flying colours, having driven to the park and ride and caught the bus into town…without the aid of his daddy.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 14:44, 8 replies)

Nice.
I shall be passing this on...
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 14:48, closed)

The funny thing is
I remember being asked the same question at an interview soon after university, I was confused as to why they would care that I drove to the interview and I could drive myself to work.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 15:03, closed)

More of this please.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 10 Oct 2008, 14:54, closed)

I shall try
but I think i'm spent for this QOTW.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 15:04, closed)

i love colonel dracula
he is teh shit.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 14:58, closed)

Aww shucks
*blushes*
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 15:04, closed)

The question I ask is....
... just at the end of the interview, when you're pretty much doing the handshake and goodbye I ask "So, what are you going to do with the rest of the morning/afternoon/day?"

The one who got hired said:
"I'm going home to do some gardening for my parents as I'm earning a bit of money labouring for them at the moment"

The ones to remain unemployed offered:

"Dunno, maybe hang around the precinct wiv' me mates"
"Going to see my boyfriend.... it's prison visit day you see?"
"Nuffin' probably"
"Off to my friend Becky's to get ready for tonight!" (it was a Monday, the prospect of employing someone who would be hungover on a Tuesday morning was not endearing!).
(golddust QOTW now revolves around being a cunt, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 15:04, closed)

*Writes down*
I shall be using those, cheers (if I ever have to do interviews again).
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 9:58, closed)