Violent Spoilt Bastard
When I were a wee boy scout, we used to live next door to a stereotypical dragon-lady - one of the ones who would yell at you if you lost a ball in her back yard. You know the type, or have at least seen the movie.

My mother was a good Christian woman (which meant no booze in the house, which was a bugger), so to be nice, she used to make me mow this old biddy's lawn and do other odd-jobs for her. One of these odd-jobs was to play with the old bat's grandson on his infrequent visits.

I won't go into the details of how spoilt this little spawn of Satan's knob-cheese was, but I will get to the point of the story. One fine summer's day he was visiting and, as usual, I was forced to play with him. The future reality-show contestant had decided that we should play in the back of his father's ute (truck to the 'merkins), which meant that I had to sit on the tailgate while he told me how great he was.

After a time, he stood up, walked over to me and pushed me off the back of the ute. Whereupon I tumbled down to the cold, hard concrete, greeting it with my forehead and a dull "thunk".

The worst part of the episode, beside the blinding pain, was that the little scrote's grandmother had witnessed the entire thing. She then told me off and said I shouldn't have been up there in the first place.

Fuck, but I was angry. And bleeding.
( argyleblanket The man on the roof works for me, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 22:53, 3 replies)

You should go back round
and kick her in the cunt.

Or if she's dead, dig up her body and then kick it in the cunt.

Seriously, it's the only way these people will learn.
( Bazongaloid, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 23:32, closed)

I got my revenge
by ratcheting the mower down to its lowest setting and leaving Kojaks on her lawn.
( argyleblanket The man on the roof works for me, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 0:05, closed)

Good revenge!
That is all.
( uberdeity Wondered why Owen Lars knew of the term "hell" on, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 10:00, closed)