Pooflake's attempt at a bit of 'culture'...(you lucky people)...

Disclaimer: You can blame Chickenlady for this outrage...Her reply on one of my earlier posts gave me the idea...

The following effort is about some spoilt fucker unjustifiably over-affluent young individual and his college experience:

Student Bill

Student Bill – the spoilt Brat
Was rich, but selfish, short and fat
His daddy bought a penthouse flat
Just for the self-indulgent twat

His parents gave him loads of dosh
Designer clothes and all things posh
He sat there bleating 'Golly Gosh!'
Whilst I ate 'Happy Shopper' nosh

He sneered: ‘Some guys have all the luck’
I’d like to cunt him in the fuck
...or hang him on a rusty hook,
Then twonk him with a forklift truck

But one day Billy went too far
Said 'not to touch' his 'little’ car
Then parked his new Merc SLR
And strolled into the student bar

Whilst there, he guzzled fine Champagne
His drunken boasts grew more inane
He climbed back in his car again
Then bollocked down some country lane...

Despite his alcoholic shakes
He said he ‘never made mistakes’
But one false move is all it takes...

…..Oh, I also cut his fucking brakes

Now Bill's a spoilt brat no more
A gear knob’s stuck up his 'back door'
He might be rich, but I'm quite sure
You can’t eat Lobster through a straw.

.
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Tue 14 Oct 2008, 10:32, 16 replies)

Oh I say old chap.
How witty of you.

*snorts*
( girlinthehole, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 10:34, closed)

How the fuck
do you do that?
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 14 Oct 2008, 10:42, closed)

superb work
although you're forgetting lobster bisque, dear boy....
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 10:47, closed)

You're quite right...

I should add this to the last verse...

"He might be rich, but I'm quite sure
You can’t eat Lobster through a straw."

(unless it's bisque, not Thermidore)
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Tue 14 Oct 2008, 16:10, closed)

Fantastic...
More of this is needed, Mr Flake.
( Moey, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 10:52, closed)

Beautiful
clickity click
( rofl harris, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 11:31, closed)

Good work sir
...and it's better than those bleedin' puns.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 14 Oct 2008, 11:40, closed)

You do realise
that there is now a glittering future ahead of you in Performance Poetry?
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 11:58, closed)

Damned good
Another next week please, or there'll be trouble.
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 12:16, closed)

*giggles*
that was fucking brilliant!!

have a few clicks! *clicks several times*
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 14 Oct 2008, 12:57, closed)

Done well
I'll save it for a rainy day.
(ShitBitch, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 13:28, closed)

Mr Pooflake
With this poetry, you are really spoiling us...
(annexed, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 13:48, closed)

hehe
Can I request this to be sung at your next gig? :)
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 14:41, closed)

Oooh pooflake
Let's get a TUNE for this one!


*click*
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 16:58, closed)

Love it
*click*
(Sundayturkey has the biggest mug of tea, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 17:58, closed)

bugger.
i had the pan all ready to spang you, then you pull something like this out of your arse! you, sir, have far too much talent.

*doffs cap*
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 23:20, closed)