I never seemed to be picked for the sports teams.
I was (and still am) quite a short arse so when playing cricket in junior school the full sized leg pads went over my waist and I was unable to bend my legs at all. After goose-stepping out onto the pitch I managed to get myself into a sort of ready stance. The bowler was the PE teacher who took this shit seriously even with 9 year olds opposing him. The run up was taken and the ball came thundering down the crease[?] and although I tried to swing for it, it whistled past me unmarked. My attempt to hit the thing unbalanced me and I managed to fall backwards over the stumps myself. As I couldn't bend my legs I floundered on my back. The roaring laughter of everyone else at my struggle to get the bloody pads off before stomping off the field still makes me flush now.
I wasn't going through that again so when it was my turn again I didn't bother with any protection at all and as soon as I took up my position I swung the bat into my own bales and off I walked before the teacher had a chance to finish his run up. I could see the disappointment in his face as I'm sure he was going bowl straight at me the utter utter shit.
(TitanLX, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 16:37, 2 replies)

Worthy of a click
for the mental image of you "goose-stepping out onto the pitch" in your full-size pads.
(richardm, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 17:15, closed)

I agree
had a seriously long chuckle at that. Still giggle when I think of it.
(Monkee girl not a monkee, not a girl, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 2:47, closed)