Phone-calls
My lass has something akin to a stalker.
He goes to the same choir as her, which is all fair and well, but constantly rings her with all manner of pathetic reasons. Almost everyday, she ends up saying "I've just got to go, mate. Lovely talking to you, just a bit busy my end." to get him off the line.

Well one day I picked up her ringing mobile.
Stalker bloke, assured that the lass was otherwise engaged (in the shower, not sat next to me laughing her head off, honest) started on his usual rant about his day, his life, everyone else's day, and anything that came to mind.
The only sounds I made were the non-committal "Uh-huh" and "Uh-uh" grunts of someone paying attention while pissing around online.

Honestly I have no idea what he said, but after 5 hours he ran out of steam and thanked me, but he was "really busy at the mo" and "couldn't keep nattering with me".
EDIT: Ok, maybe exaggerating there. According to her mobile it was 4 hours and 53 minutes.

For some reason, he's never rung back.
( Pointy Head poked another hole in my anorak on, Mon 4 Feb 2008, 5:58, 3 replies)

You should sue him for having him being the reason you get head cancer.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 4 Feb 2008, 9:40, closed)

I wish my mobile
had that sort of battery life.
( wangmaster2000, Mon 4 Feb 2008, 12:11, closed)

It's one of those mobiles
with the handy car battery attachment*, perfect for those unending phone calls to people you have never met!

*may not be 100% fact
( Pointy Head poked another hole in my anorak on, Mon 4 Feb 2008, 20:33, closed)