Stalked by text
Some of the tales this week are downright disturbing. So I’ll lighten the tone a little.

A few years ago, when I was still single (well, actually, I was technically still married, but the wife had decided she didn’t want to be a wife anymore - not to me , anyway), I met a girl on a works leaving do – she was a former employee who had left not long before I started. We got on well, but she declined my offer of a date on the not altogether unreasonable basis that she had a girlfriend. Not to worry, we enjoyed each other’s company and would occasionally meet up for a drink. She was good company, so it seemed churlish to let a small technicality like not batting for the same teams get in the way.

On one occasion, we were having a few drinks after work, but I was constantly being bombarded with text messages from an unknown number. ‘Fancy a drink sometime’? ‘Er, depends. Who is this’? ‘Guess’. Etc. now, I don’t do cryptic, but this went on all night, and for a few days afterwards, to the point where I started to get a bit pissed off, and also slightly concerned that someone who I didn’t appear to know had my number and was admiring me from afar. I was still in a period of mental-wobble at this time, so I didn’t really appreciate being the target of some random stranger’s unhealthy obsession.

By about day 5 of this, I’d had enough, so when the usual cryptic messages started coming through again, I snapped. ‘Just tell me who you are and stop pissing about’. So they did.

Turned out it was someone I knew, but wasn’t someone I’d particularly want to associate with in a social context. She was a bit of a troll really, with a nasty split personality and had made life really difficult for one of the lads in the dive club, to the point where we had to throw her out of the club for being unhealthily obsessed with him. This despite the fact that he had a steady girlfriend, and she had been shacked up with her bloke for some time. So I declined her ‘offer’ and off she fucked, thank god. I may have been out of action (so to put it) for a while, but I wasn’t that desperate!

A vaguely amusing and ironic end to this is that the troll in question turned into a lesbian, and my friend shacked up with a postman not too long afterwards and is now the proud mum of a bouncing baby boy.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 4 Feb 2008, 15:06, 4 replies)

So that's a bit lighter is it?
Remind me not to give you a ring next time I'm feeling down!
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Mon 4 Feb 2008, 15:46, closed)

I did say 'a little'...
And it did have a happy ending, of sorts.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 4 Feb 2008, 15:54, closed)

hmmm
So she said to you "I'm a lesbian" in so many words.. and now she has a baby by some other bloke.. hmmmmm my powers of deduction say she may not have been a lezzer in the first place.
(TheRiddler Hmmmmm... I concur., Mon 4 Feb 2008, 16:58, closed)

No, she was
Honest. bi might be a better way of phrasing it. My colleagues ripped the piss about it for months afterwards. They knew, I didn't. Still, it is a woman's prerogative to change her mind...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 4 Feb 2008, 17:07, closed)