Bottom Bunk
After working overtime till 8pm one winter evening, I persuaded a colleague that we’d earned a drink in the pub over the road. The truth was I wanted to get this guy pissed for a laugh, as he was usually a bit of a hermit and found the idea quite entertaining. It was quiet in the pub, so we played pool, which soon became a serious battle of wits. The Stella flowed and we were both feeling the effects pretty quickly as neither of us had eaten since lunchtime. At one point I sat down between two stools and landed on my back, much to the amusement of my opponent and the odd punter stood at the bar. After about five or six pints we were both feeling ill and decided it would be best to leave. My car was parked close by and foolishly decided it would be good idea to drop this guy off on my way home, as it was a freezing night. Fortunately the weather had taken its toll on my battery and the car wouldn’t start. Not to be dissuaded I asked my new pal to give us a push to bump-start the car along the side-street. On reaching the end of the street and failing miserably, he jumped in the driver’s seat and I gave one almighty push and onto the main road the car trundled. Still to no avail he steered the car down the hill as I ran diagonally across the road, losing my grip on the back of the car. Not looking where I was heading, I tripped and launched myself headlong into a builders skip. My landing was softened by a mass of cardboard, which I soon found very comfortable and fell fast asleep. It was a bitter cold night and I awoke about 3am shivering, beneath a covering of light snow. I stumbled out, quite bemused and managed to flag down a taxi and finally headed home.

I was alerted by the phone ringing the following morning. It was my brother, enquiring as to how my car had ended up parked askew in a bus-lane some ten miles from home? It was then the smell of dog shit hit me, which I discovered was smeared about my face when I looked in the mirror…
(minky, Sat 30 Dec 2006, 14:10, Reply)