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This is a question Where is the strangest place you have slept?

'lardaholics anonymous' was bored and started a new question over in the old question, so the least we can do is make it official. What with New Year's celebrations coming up, asking for the strangest place you have slept is nicely appropriate too.

In case you are wondering, Portsmouth beach in the fog. Very strange waking up to that.

(, Fri 29 Dec 2006, 8:57)
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This question is now closed.

In work
Fell asleep after an all-nighter finished at 6.30am and work started at 7am. Walked into work, pissed and half-shattered, and started taking phonecalls on fixing pcs.

I can recall the first few calls, which were comical by normal standards as I was slurring and randomly swearing at customers eg
Granny "How do I fix this please?"
Me "Click on My Commuter please luv."
Granny "Done that, now what?"
Me "Now click on....errrr what the fuck's it called? Control panel luv, yeah..."
Granny "Ok, done that..."

This went on for about an hour until I literally fell asleep mid-call. I woke up 10 minutes later with a voice in my ear through the headphones saying "That's great, it's working now, thanks for fixing that."
"Errrr.....thanks for calling?" was all I could manage. What the fuck did I say to her, still don't know to this day.
(, Fri 29 Dec 2006, 11:37, Reply)
Playing a cruel game of "buckaroo"
Not me but...

I was friendly with all the engineering students in my college. One of the lads had decided to try out for the university rowing team AND acquired a fit bird to shag by three weeks into the term. As a consequence, the only place he could catch up on sleep was during engineering lectures. All my mates would sit either side of him, and when the head started lolling forward it was a race against time to see how high they could stack up pencil sharpeners, rubbers, sweets etc before his head came smacking down on the desk, scattering stationery all over the three rows in front.

Me, I fell asleep in a palaeontology lecture and woke up to find I'd written all about "penis worms". This troubled me for ages. Then I found out my lecturer was daft as a brush and that was actually what he'd said.
(, Fri 29 Dec 2006, 11:24, Reply)
Major General reminded me...
...of one of my special K experiences - then housemate did not know that I was doing anything stronger than weed but really I was nipping off to my room for a little snort every so often. Perhaps the last snort was a bit too much because one second I'm on the sofa and the next I'm waking up on the landing lying Jesus Christ style arms spread and clutched in my left hand is half a bannister strut (are they struts?) where I had apparently broken it in half. My housemate was stood in his doorway with a look of mild terror on his face.
Looking at my watch showed that about 20 minutes had passed, so does that count?
(, Fri 29 Dec 2006, 11:20, Reply)
Oooh, not me, but an ample friend of mine.
Due to his size, he suffers from chronic fatigue syndrome, so he falls asleep standing up, sitting down, anywhere. He worked in a shop, and said "five pounds please", had the money in his hand, then fell asleep.

Anyway, we used to play this game called "Richard Buckaroo", whereby we'd find objects and put them on him. Was hugely proud when we manage to find a rubber glove, put it on him and slap his face without him waking up.
(, Fri 29 Dec 2006, 11:18, Reply)
Chester Station
After a night out in Liverpool.

My bed's in Liverpool.

Next to Lemmy from Motorhead.

Rock 'n' Roll.
(, Fri 29 Dec 2006, 11:13, Reply)
Once
when very drunk, I slept on a hard, wooden floor. I woke up feeling the stiffest I've ever felt in my life, with a pounding headache.

Ah, great days, great days..
(, Fri 29 Dec 2006, 11:11, Reply)
The Pub
Just finished my finals in 1985 and got drunk in Leazes Park listening to Bruce Springsteen playing in St James Park (couldn't afford tickets), went to the pub and "rested" my face on the table for 5 minutes.

2 hours later got woken up by the landlord as they were closing and all my mates had fucked off.
(, Fri 29 Dec 2006, 11:08, Reply)
Asleep on the throne
After my uncle died my aunt stayed at 'Chateau La Boss Mew' for a bit.

Maybe it was the grief but she had the worrying habit of watching the TV until at least 3am. And at rather a high volume.

Because my bedroom was directly over the living room the echoy strains of crappy films kept me awake at night.

As a result I use to keep falling asleep on the toilet during the day.
An unfortuate side effect was that when I woke up I couldn't walk for 5 minutes due to the lack of blood in my little legs.
(, Fri 29 Dec 2006, 11:06, Reply)
Sleep is my friend
My body reacts to hangovers by simply shutting down for about 24 hours. So far, I have fallen asleep

1) In the girl I was sleeping with at uni's under-bed drawer - female hall, no male visitors, warden knocked at the door after hearing the young ladies orgasmic screaming and wailing

2) On a canoe, paddling off a extremly small Fiji-ian island - It was the one that is about 200m away from where they filmed Castaway. Fell asleep, woke up about 500m out to sea. Not the best.

3) In my Fiat Panda, outside a house party in Sheffield. Pyjama jump night, house party afterwards. Pulled a complete moose and wanted to get away, all other pedrooms occupied - obvious solution was to sleep in my car. It was -8c that night, and when I woke in the morning the car had rolled into a lampost. Handbrake wasn't great.
(, Fri 29 Dec 2006, 11:01, Reply)
Not me but.....
A friend of mine is prone to having "little episodes" when he's very pissed.

So one night we're all getting hammered and Colin decides no one likes him and storms out the pub in a huff (well he is the victim and we do take the piss out of him a lot).

We all chase after him but can't find him anywhere in the street, turns out he tells us later he's rolled under a parked car to hide and is laughing at our concern for our drunken friend, concern wears off and we go back to drinking.

Colin now in super huff cause we left him (?!?!?) and decides to walk the 2 miles home, well it'd be 4 if he went by road, but he decided to go as the crow flies and stumbled through gardens and all sorts til he finds a nice summer house, settles down and promptly falls asleep.

He's woken by the police flashing a torch in his face, ends up getting a lift the remaining short journey and only a mild bollocking for being "a drunken idiot".

Apologies for length, but as it strictly speaking isn't mine then you can't blame me anway.
(, Fri 29 Dec 2006, 10:59, Reply)
Shed Roof/Wardrobe/Garden/Boating Lake
I've spent an evening of slumber in some very odd places, with me being quite an obsessive drinker when I was younger.

I woke up one morning on the roof of my shed in the back garden. I'd asked my brother to come round to help me re-felt the roof that day and in my pissed up state must have tried to get an early start. I was awoken by my brother banging on the kitchen window from the inside of my house and was confused to buggery as to how he could be inside whilst I was seemingly levitating out side. The oddest thing was that you needed ladders to get up on the roof. I had no ladders....

At a mates party I fell down a space between wardrobe a drawers and slept there.

One new years I was so drunk that my friends dumped me in my front garden and left me there. I woke up at about 6 AM new years day absolutely freezing cold. Not nice, I was about a degree away from hypothermia.

Middle of November, me and two mates end up sleeping next to the boating lake in Southport behind a bush after missing the last train home. Got invited back some tramps house and declined. Ended up moving on to the train station when it got to cold and slept in an alleyway near there. Fair play to the guard who opened up the train station though. He bought us all a coffee and let us use our tickets on the first train back. Top fella.
(, Fri 29 Dec 2006, 10:58, Reply)
This one time....
I woke up in a military training ground somewhere in Berkshire, had helicopters buzzing around us, can vaugely remember a fire, a tin of beans exploding in someones face, and firing BBs at some twat called Navy Wayne....
(, Fri 29 Dec 2006, 10:55, Reply)
When I was young and silly
My friends and I ended up sleeping in an Oil Tanker.. It was in dry dock in Belfast, for repairs or something.

Needless to say I was very drunk, and remain very relieved that it didn't set sail while we were on it.
(, Fri 29 Dec 2006, 10:46, Reply)
not me, I swear
Not me, but my dad. I have a gift for finding good places to stay, but my dad wants to be SPONTANEOUS and STICK IT TO THE TICKTOCKMAN, so he ends up doing things like blowing into Dublin on New Year's Eve and sleeping on a wharf.

We went on holiday to Cambodia to visit Angkor Wat, and on the way back, stopped over in Kuala Lumpur. Having planned ahead, I stayed at the J. W. Marriott in a plush room with a partial view of the Petronas Towers for $99 AUD per night. Having not planned ahead, Dad stayed in a dive above a brothel for the same amount of money. (To be fair, I don't know how much that bothered him.)
(, Fri 29 Dec 2006, 10:38, Reply)
I spent New Years Eve....
sleeping in my Morris Marina on a caravan site after spending a lovely evening with (in hindsight) a lumpy old slapper and her part time Pikey parents & their Caravan Club mates.

Had I not got utterly wankered I would have fled rather than subject myself to the cold dampness of sleeping there. The car was uncomfortable too...
(, Fri 29 Dec 2006, 10:29, Reply)
Doorstep Shame
I went to a party at a Caravan park in a little place called Creeksea (sleepy coastal town in the East of England). It was towards the end of the peak season for the holiday campers and we had taken over three of these mobile homes off to one side of the park for our party.

There were about 20 people all together. All of them off their collective faces - drinking cheap cider, smoking weed and taking pills - People were sat around a fire strumming guitars and singing, playing bongos and generally making the most of one of the last few long summer evenings before Autumn/Winter kicks in.

So around 1am people start going home or crashing out in the caravans etc... at which point everything becomes a of a blur for me - I don't remember much until I woke up at about 5am on the porch outside one of these caravans.

My face is on the door mat which is covered in mud, my back hurts and I'm damp all over from the early morning condensation/dew (no luckily I hadn't pished my pants) and for some reason I don't have my wallet, phone or any cash with which to get home. Shit. So I stagger to my feet still half "off-tits" and burst thru the door of the caravan to try and find the bastards who took my wallet.

Shit. It turns out that at somepoint in the night I had wandered off to another part of the caravan park and promptly fallen asleep on the doorstep of a complete strangers holiday home. I know this because there was a rather shocked looking white haired fat man having a wank in front of the TV set.

I mumbled something incoherently like the sweaty drug feind I was and exited the caravan mumbling like an idiot and leave the bloke to finish off. I couldn't find my way back to the party so had to walk 3 miles home thru muddy fields to get home.

Good times, good times. . .
(, Fri 29 Dec 2006, 10:13, Reply)
Carrying my woman home
I just remembered an actual real narrative story.

Back when I had first started dating my wife, she loved drinking soju. After about two bottles of the stuff (at around half a pound each), she'd just turn off like a lightswitch and not wake up. I have a picture of her passed out on a pile of guitars at a very loud concert somewhere.

The worst time was when she passed out in the park about four blocks from our apartment. I picked her up fireman-style and carried her home on a crowded night. Being a white guy carrying an unconscious Korean girl home is a dangerous thing to do, but I made it all the way home, stopping several times to put her down so I could rest. Finally I made it into the building and went to the elevator. When I saw it was on the top floor, my spirit gave out. I fell and she landed on top of me, pinning me to the floor. By then I was too weak to escape, so I was trapped there until someone else came along and freed me (later on I helped that guy bring his unconscious girlfriend to his apartment; at least I hope she was his girlfriend).

Another time, she passed out at a very loud punk show. I showed up late after work and carried her home. She was out cold so I went out drinking again, got incredibly drunk, came home and barfed everywhere, tried to clean it up, passed out, and woke up in the morning to find she'd cleaned it all, thinking she was the one who got sick.

Length? Reader, I married her.
(, Fri 29 Dec 2006, 10:13, Reply)
On a very large pile of lego
there's nothing quite like waking up, half drunk, half hungover, looking in the mirror and seeing the word ogel imprinted onto your face several hundred times.
(, Fri 29 Dec 2006, 10:07, Reply)
The Griffin Pub
just of Trafalgar Square, London.

Drunk, as is my want - went to toilet - chose wrong one, and then too scared to come out of the ladies one as there were people coming in and out all the time and didn't want to be beat up by bouncer for being a lady fiddler - got bored, fell asleep, woke up 3 hours later sans friends who had also got bored and fucked off.

Length? They couldn't see - the door was locked..
(, Fri 29 Dec 2006, 10:06, Reply)
Passing out in South Korea
Over here, the liquor laws are much more lax. There is no public drunkenness law here so you can get drunk and wander around in public acting dumb. Also, here's no last call, so bars can stay open all night long.

I was first exposed to this when I went out drinking with a large group of Korean punks. I met one young guy named Wonho who was about 18. Sometime around 2am, he passed out in his chair and I went to socialise elsewhere. When I checked on him later, I discovered he'd barfed and there was now a large meaty puddle of puke on the floor next to his chair. The wait staff were terrified of this group of 30 Koreans with spikes and mohawks so none of them could tell him to leave. He eventually woke up, saw what he'd done, and stumbled out. That's the story every week.

Me, I never pass out in strange places. I know what people do to you when you pass out (because usually it's me doing it to them). I have a lot more pictures like this.
(, Fri 29 Dec 2006, 10:06, Reply)
not me but my dad's mate...
Fell asleep in the toilets at Glasgow train station after celebrating his 40th birthday at Celtic park. Scared the cleaner shitless apparently, she thought he was dead....
(, Fri 29 Dec 2006, 10:06, Reply)
Does this count?
Hatfield, in Hertfordshire. Mind you, I must have liked it, as I went back, oh, easily enough times to get some kind of educational certificate thingy.
(, Fri 29 Dec 2006, 10:01, Reply)
In a public toilet
Autumn 1987, following a Swans tour. After a gig in Bristol I had to get back to Manchester to sign on so I set off towards the M5 to try to hitch a lift. I guess it's 5 or 10 miles. Somewhere along the way I found a rather nicely kept public lav, with big cubicles with doors right down to the floor. Perfect! I got my head down for a few hours and was woken up by the council cleaners turning up at 9am sharp.
(, Fri 29 Dec 2006, 9:56, Reply)
Not really "waking up",
but after an afternoon of drinking, we were snorting ketamine straight out of a bag in the pub beer garden. When i surfaced from the K hole, i was lying in the doorway of the Nottingham town centre Thomas Cook shop in the middle of a busy shopping day. Apparently they couldn't move me, so people were just stepping over me.
(, Fri 29 Dec 2006, 9:50, Reply)
I still shudder at the thought
On the last night of the Glastonbury festival 1995 I fell asleep in a green portaloo.

When I say I "fell asleep", what I mean is when I walked in it was dark and when I walked out it was daylight.

When I say I "walked in", what I mean is I was almost crawling as I was puking from too much booze & dope. Dope has a laxative effect on me & I was having those spasms that tell me I was about to shit myself.

When I say I "walked out", what I mean is I stumbled out wondering where 5ish hours had gone.

Kids, tsk.
(, Fri 29 Dec 2006, 9:45, Reply)
this one night after getting ..
kicked out of a "sophisticated" party, me and a couple of friends tried to find somewhere to sleep. Being in the middle of nowhere and being under driving age it was going to be hard to get to anywhere else anyway other than walking. after a drunken search we concluded the best place to brave the cold winters night was in an abandoned horse box. it was very cold and the smell, oh the smell.
(, Fri 29 Dec 2006, 9:42, Reply)
This wasn't me but my mate Matt......
after a particularly heavy night out, he staggered out of the pub and we all thought that he'd gone home.

It wasn't until late the next day that we'd found out he'd been found by the police sleeping under a bush next to the A63.

The fool.
(, Fri 29 Dec 2006, 9:26, Reply)
Friend of a friend's flat after a party
Me & the shag slept in a spare room on top of a pile of mattresses that you had to climb a ladder to get onto.

I have no idea why the guy had so many mattresses but bonking was no mean feat.
(, Fri 29 Dec 2006, 9:13, Reply)
Mates house in Preston.
The surroundings were so strange to me I stumbled half asleep into the bathroom and proceeded to pee over a sleeping work colleague.

Turned out it wasn't the bathroom afterall.
(, Fri 29 Dec 2006, 9:08, Reply)

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