I'm a nurse...
...and during my training and subsequnet employemnt I have done many odd things including -

Being regularly goosed up by old ladies.

Peeling dead skin off of burnt people.

Following a consultant round, listening to what he had to saying patients and then putting a tick on a clip board.

Advising a chav mum and her even chavvier offspring about good bowel habits.

Collecting dirty nappies in order to weigh them.

Removing and then re-applying a Ddressing to any extremly burnt knob.

Learnt Mandarin, Arabic, Lingala, Hindi, Polish and Hebrew(or at least enough to ask 'have you had a poo' to someone).

Accompanied dead bodies to the morgue.

Given antibiotics which make bodily fluids turn orange.

Spent 3 weeks in a room with a five-year old watching 'Wacky Races' on repeat.

Taken samples of every known bodily fluid.

Suctioned up all manner of multicoloured gunge from people's lungs.

Spent a night shift convincing a nutter that there was not a dragon in the air con vents.

Spent 4 weeks in a house occupied by 3 young chaps with learning difficulties basically being paid to eat 3 meals a day and got to Lakeside(truly a chav mecca).

Telling one of said aforementioned gentlemen to kindly please 'go and wank in your room, Alex and Phil(not their real names) are watching the football'.

Checking linen baskets on an old people's ward to make sure that one 'confused' old lady had not crapped in one of them.

I could go on..and refuse to apologise for the length.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 1 Oct 2004, 16:10, Reply)