Transporting The Dead
In 1980, I took a job as a Fire/Medic in a rural county in North Florida.
The place was lacking in police coverage and had become a handy sport to do murder and get away with it. Not wanting to hold this honor, the local government decided to enter the modern age. To this end, they got rid of the 'Old Boy' Sheriff, a chap called Dudley, and upgraded the whole department so even the lonely areas would be patrolled. Then they hired a Coroner to dissect and investigate murder most foul. What they did not do was provide a way to get the victims to the morgue. In the past this had been done by a man named "Kenny from Jax", a fellow rumored to like his job a little too much, who would drive in from and haul the corpses off to a nearby county where things were more organized.
Now, please don't think that there were 100s of dead lying about bloating in the tropic sun; more like one or two per week and that would include all death unsupported by a physician's certificate i.e. car crash, sudden death, foul play and so on.
Well we at the fire house sussed the situation and offered to do the job on an on call basis for $50 per body, no group discount and the money would come from a 'General Fund' with no tax taken.
Needless to say we made a killing, but looking back on those days, I see how really strange it was.
For instance, the police were jealous that the fire service had got this going, so while they had no trouble calling you out to a horrible accident scene, they refused to help you get your 'client'(s) from the mangled wrecks. Also, during the 'warm times' a person's body might only be discovered due to scent. To get by this, we developed various ploys, including spreading "Vick's" in an oxygen mask, stuffing wintergreen snuff packets up your nose, smoking big smelly cigars or a combination of the above. We were young and crazy and we had drugs. Things got more and more the Cowboy Way, until our antics caught the attention of the press and the County Fathers shut our operation down.
I am retired from that sort of work now, but not too long ago I saw a rather tarted up van wearing lights and sirens and the words Assistant County Coroner emblazoned on the side. As I passed, a huge black man wearing a very fancy uniform emerged. I took a second look to be sure. It was none other than the imfamous necrophile "Kenny From JAX" come to reclaim his link in the chain of foolishness we had made all those years ago. Luck to you Kenny!
(texino, Sun 3 Oct 2004, 19:16, Reply)