Monkey Fishing
The basement of a nameless university had several large skips full of assorted monkey body parts, scavenged from various zoos over the years, preserved lovingly in alcohol/water mix. Like olives, only more like fetid monkey soup with chunks.
Seemingly, these had been thrown in, without any thought for proper cataloguing. How careless.

Enter me, with shoulder length rubber gloves, and, a gasmask, sorry "industrial respirator". We had to go in pairs, in case someone fell in and drowned. Gave up on the respirators in the first five minutes because they were too bulky.

Fish around up to your shoulder in monkey soup, pull out a body part, and guess what it is - attach a tag with a staple gun, and stick it back in. What's this in the bucket? Oh, it's a binbag. Do you want to open the binbag, boys and girls? No? Well, I'll do it then. Oh look. It's a dismembered chimpanzee. That or we've found Jeff Dahmer's secret stash.

Best of all, after about half an hour, the alcohol fumes get you drunk as a lord. Great, until you remember you're drunk on monkey fumes.

What is that, Dr von Strome? You need me in the lab-or-a-tory? Helga will be happy to oblige.

You'll be glad to know there were no lasting after-effects.
(sags tupac-a-hats, Sun 3 Oct 2004, 23:58, Reply)