My mum
Wouldn't let me go out with the other kids at the age of fifteen/sixteen to the bridge because she knew I'd be getting drunk, smoking and getting off with girls. For similar reasons, I was never allowed to go to parties and such.

A result of this was that I never really made social contact with most of the girls in my year and was generally quite shy. This (coupled with a few other formative disasters which had nothing to do with her) meant that I never had any girlfriends at school.

One day, my mother comes up to her socially crippled son and says "I've noticed you haven't had any girlfriends. Is there anything you want to tell me? I'll still love you if you're gay, you know."

...

I had no words.

Another time, at the age of seventeen, she threatened to call the police because she found out that my best mate and me were planning to go to the pub for a couple. She then had a bit of a paddy when she found out that my best mate's mum, a good friend of hers, couldn't really see what the problem was. Exclamations of "why do I feel like the world is against me?" and things of that nature.

She's actually a really good mum, but she did have one or two funny ideas. Still I guess the lessons were learnt, my younger brother had a much freer rein as a result. I'd like to think it was because I was a trailblazer and fought for our collective rights to underage drink, smoke, fight and shag, but I suspect it was more because she couldn't be arsed going through the arguments a second time.

Girls did eventually find out about the length, you'll be glad to know.
( Kroney, Fri 9 Mar 2007, 10:26, Reply)