The consequences aren't particular impressive...
But it WAS stupid. And maybe worth sharing.

I was 13 at the time, at school, and one of the guys in class had brought in a video.

"Check it out boys, I've got some porn!". Cue impressed "ooooh" from all the other guys in the class, myself included.

Anyway, he left it in his bag and left it on his desk when he went to the Canteen for some food. A few of us sat there in the Form Room just staring at the bag of mystery and wonder.

"I bet it's just Bambi or something. Go on, Banwen... I dare you to put it on" one of them said, indicating the old school TV and VCR combo on one of those trolleys with a long extension power cord curled up behind it.

I uttered those immortal words (Which Dr Pepper totally stole from me for their ad campaign) "What's the worst that could happen?". And I grabbed the tape from his bag. Nervously approached the TV. Turned it on. And put the tape in.

Yup.

It was porn alright. Everyone started laughing. My mission was a complete success. I had done the dare, entertained the masses, and would surely be elected to the highest possible popularity group in the school.

Well, almost. For not 2 seconds later, some of the older kids ran in saying "Eh, look lads! PORN! PORN! Check it out! PORN!" and before I could turn it off they had taken control of the situation. With a riotous chant of "PORNO! PORNO! PORNO!" they wheeled the TV out into the corridor... And gave it a hard push in one direction.

Next door, a teachers meeting just so happened to be adjourning. So, all the most senior members of staff open the door... And the first thing they see... Is black and white, hardcore porn rolling past, facing them.


Pretty stupid, eh? I got into quite a lot of trouble, I got the "Are you curious?" speech from Mum and the humiliation of a lifetime for the remainder of my time at Secondary school. I was the Porn-on-wheels boy.

Ah well, c'est la vie.
(Uhmfhshhghd, Thu 1 Nov 2007, 14:25, 7 replies)

This has to be the single best line ever written in literary history..
"And the first thing they see... Is black and white, hardcore porn rolling past, facing them."

Conjoured up a wonderful vista of slapstick tomfoolery in my imagination, that did.
(Vic Flange, Thu 1 Nov 2007, 14:28, closed)

rolling past them?
wouldn't the power cable have stopped it from rolling out of the room?

The tv and vcr were plugged in, i assume?
(MrTrent cannot think of a clever sig., Thu 1 Nov 2007, 14:34, closed)

TV VCR combo...
on a trolley, with one of those long extension power cord things curled up behind it as mentioned in the story. The rooms were pretty close together, none of the classrooms were particularly big, it didn't get much further than the meeting next door.
(Uhmfhshhghd, Thu 1 Nov 2007, 14:42, closed)

Is the power cable issue important?
It's a marvellous picture of mobile porn trundling past teachers, mouths agape.
10/10 Banwen, go to the head of the class.
(Vic Flange, Thu 1 Nov 2007, 14:46, closed)

Humiliation of a lifetime?
I would've thought that being known as the Porn-On-Wheels Boy would be a great honour :)
And your mum should have been proud!
(EuroSong I love horse meat: best of all the animals, Thu 1 Nov 2007, 16:19, closed)

Well the title of "Porn-on-wheels boy"...
Has different connotations for different genders. To the guys it was quite humorous.

The girls didn't like me much after that day.

And I was like... Really worried about what my parents were going to do about it and how much trouble I was in and the only sympathy I got was "ahahahaahah! PORN! ON WHEELS! ahahaahha"
(Uhmfhshhghd, Thu 1 Nov 2007, 18:52, closed)

You know...
I think a lot of oldies would really go for that sort of service: Porn on Wheels. You could bring a real light into the old dears' lives, Banwen.

I can see it now: "Social Services has a new benefit for the aged! We've has brought you Meals on Wheels, (known in Britain as Eels on Wheels), now we bring you Porn on Wheels, courtesy of Branwen!"
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Tue 6 Nov 2007, 5:38, closed)