'Pull a pig'
Going back several years, me and a group of mates were having a lads night out and ended up in a nightclub

For our own entertainment we decided to get one of our more "easily influenced" friends (I'll call him Luke) to try and 'pull a pig'.

Within minutes the target was spotted, ironically she looked a lot like a pig.
Duely, each of us offered up varying sums of money should he manage to pull said pig - there was about £70 riding on it.

About 1 hour in we spot Luke with his face attached to another women (not the pig). When they stopped kissing we get to see the girls face and she made the pig look like a beauty in comparison, she was so ugly you'd think she had some kind of disability.

Luke comes swaggering back over to us - "lets have the money then lads" he said confidently, but his confidence soon slipped away as we remind him that the money was for 'the pig' not any pig!

Ironically if he'd said "how much for her" we would probably have doubled our stakes, but no he is left haunted by that grim face that he sucked on for nothing...

The moral of the story - if you're gonna do stupid dares, do them properly!
(Bad_Dogg, Thu 1 Nov 2007, 16:38, 2 replies)

Snogged this pig in a nightclub once, was hammered if that helped :p
The next week me and a few mates were back in the same club, and I'm playing some arcade game. A friend who was out the week before said "Jec, don't turn around for fuck's sake." The first thing I do automatically is turn around (seriously, it's hard to resist the need to totally ignore the command) and I see the pig, plus she also spots me.
"Oh fuck" thinks me.
She wonders over and taps me on the shoulder. I turn around, and she's homing in for a kiss, and I'm fully sober and dreading it. So I do what any man would do in this situation.

"Urrrrrghhh........ARRRRGggghhhhh.....AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"

She slaps me a beauty and walks off, while everyone around me pisses themselves laughing, me included.

I did apologise later and buy her a few drinks though, I'm not a complete cunt.
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Thu 1 Nov 2007, 17:03, closed)

correct me if i'm wrong, but are you sure that's irony?

(0800221155 Coldseal windows, Thu 1 Nov 2007, 19:13, closed)