This is hugely embarassing
When I escaped the nuns and first started going drinking in zomgpubs with my girly mates, we used to frequent a pub that had one of those machines selling "furry lovecuffs" and "pocket pleasure vibrators" and the like in the toilets. Being straight out of convent school we naturally found this absolutely hilarious.

(I would like to inform you all here that I KNOW and I have fully grown up now, I promise)

One night after a few too many bubblegum reefs (oh yes) my friends dared me to go investigate and buy one of these pocket pleasure thingies "because I just want to see what it's like, yeah..." and being the drunken over-confident teenager that I was, I said I would. So we all clubbed together and raised the necessary £3 and off I went to make the purchase. Of course, it didn't work, and our £3 was swallowed and gone forever. So they all decide I need to get a refund.

I was very against it at first, but then they all said they would gladly give up the money and let me keep it if I could manage to get a refund. £3 was 20 superkings, or a rather good night in the wetherspoons, and so I was sold. I got to the bar and the conversation went:

Me: "uh...hi, I...ummm....put some money in one of the...umm....machines in...umm..."
Barman: "You put some money in the vibrator machine and it hasn't worked, yeah?"
Me: "Oh, I...umm, yeah, its swallowed my cash"
Barman (obviously amused): "Yes yes, tee hee, how much?"

(This is where I feel like a right bastard, it's still my main drinking place, but teenage bravado kicked in).

Me: "Yeah, umm...well I tried twice, so it was £6"

And it worked! £6 richer and peer group approval, they all thought I was well cool.

Length, girth, I know I pretended otherwise but I didn't really know any better at that age
( SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Thu 1 Nov 2007, 17:27, 2 replies)

This sounds like a scam :
a machine that takes your money and makes you too embarrassed to ask for it back.

this reminds me of an old trick that worked pretty well in the days before the internet.

place an ad in a 'magazine' for a mail order sex toy/gimp mask etc. when you get the cash through send them back a note saying this item is out of stock so heres a refund cheque from our parent company. very few people will be prepared to cash a cheque from "big sweaty daves pedophilia emporium Ltd. " much less make a attention drawing fuss when the banks dont cash it.
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 2 Nov 2007, 11:44, closed)

Wasn't that
scam used in Lock Stock?
(wing_cmdr I mean not real, but almost a real hologram, Fri 2 Nov 2007, 12:44, closed)