Jump!
On my 21st birthday, midnight, I came of age working in a nightclub cloakroom. Seriously.

It turned midnight, in a sweaty cupboard from hell, and I realised that my calling in life might not be answering to wankers who were too pissed to remember which pocket the raffle ticket was in - as was the proof of handing in their shitty garments - so I should celebrate in style.

I made a plan to get very, very pissed the second I left work. Which I embarked upon, at 3am in the morning, when my shift had finished and the club owner had very generously helped me on my way to oblivion.

I promptly took the fittest girl working in the club to a friend's house to celebrate, and we got very merry.

And then came the dare.

"You can play any track from my CD collection, if you jump out of the window."

Not wanting to let the young lady I was trying to impress unsatisfied, I hastily made a selection, and then, in a haze of vodka, beer and whiskey, threw myself... fortunately feet first... out of the window. Which was 14ft from the pavement.

I landed. On my feet. And broke three toes. But not very well, as I tumbled over and broke my wrist. And then the fun began.

Not wanting to admit my injuries, I winced through the rest of the night, getting drunker still to try and distract myself from the excrutiating pain of injuries. I told no-one how much it hurt.

THREE DAYS LATER - it had been my 21st birthday celebrations after all - I went to hospital. On my own, not wanting to admit how badly I'd fucked myself, upon which the horrified nurses plastered my knackered arm and ordered me to go home. A friend had recently broken his arm, and suggested I wiggle my fingers as the cast had set in order for it to not be too uncomfortable in the next few weeks.

I obviously wiggled a bit too much. Arrived at a nightclub that night, managed to pull the cast full off, and danced in pain for the rest of the night.

Years later, my wrist still hurts. A lot.

And the absolute crying shame of it all? My friend who dared me in the first place had a woefully poor collection of CDs. I picked "It's Alright" by Supergrass. Didn't get get back in the flat in time to hear any of the track, and never saw the girl again.

Length? 14ft. It's my first post. Give me a break!
(Sloppy Giuseppe, Fri 2 Nov 2007, 1:28, 1 reply)

New QOTW
Worst Birthday EVAR !
(kitescreech still here, Sat 3 Nov 2007, 9:55, closed)