ahh magaluf
I was trashed one night on a stag doo in Magaluf this summer, we ended up in this empty'ish bar on BCM square with some quite good tunes playing. With the promise of some free drinks we hung around hoping the place would fill up. It didn’t. So we made the entertainment whilst the free drinks were distributed. Dancing away on the dance floor I decided to get my camera out to video the lads anyway I got chatting to a mate mid film when all of a sudden a girl on stage right next to me slammed my face with her hand... she was bitchy little 17 yr old with her pals celebrating their GCSE's and believing the world owed them.

I was angry and demanded an explanation for her punch, BANG!! she hit me again.... now I’m not the angry type, and in my usual stupid ideas thought if I could talk to this girl I could pull her.... BANG!! Another slap/punch. I was getting angry... I couldn’t hit her, so I turned to my mates...who in turn swiveled me round and said 'dance off'...... now I’m an ok dancer, but the fact I had drunk enough, that 10 minutes earlier I was pissing all over my leg proves that I couldn’t attempt to 'dance off' with anyone. There was a push from behind me followed by chanting of Dance off from my 'mates'. It then became apparent that she was in no better shape than me as she stumbled off the stage to my left and stood in front of me. I could win this I thought.... but no, she stepped back and let her friend take charge of the dancing... if anyone is familiar with the term 'bodyguard' you will be able to picture her standing before me...bigger than me.

At this point the crowd had doubled... from the lads I was with (10 or so) and her mates ( about another 10) there were even more people flooding in to the venue... all chanting dance off... word spread fats across BCM square as more people flooded in to see what the commotion was …..with a scratch of the record player a brief silence hit the bar, all of a sudden the unmistakable beats of 'its like that' by the Run DMC came on... we were indeed in an impromptu dance off situation, with the whole bar fixated on me and the body guard. I started limbering up like a boxer before the bell, rotating my shoulders and rocking my head from side to side giving the illusion I had done this at least once before... i hadn’t.

The crowd was now at 70 or more, with the circle at least 6 people deep and 30 wide around the dance floor.

She starts... 10 seconds of easy dancing followed, which I dually equaled and exceeded. We were winning. My mates were egging me on to go a step further than her….She then upped the tempo with some unusual moves, i followed just equalling them...then, to my dismay she pulled off the caterpillar... something I cannot do...how can i better that?

I looked around for inspiration, I found none.... I looked at my mates for advice, 'take your kecks off... she doesn’t have a cock....

It was like hypnotism... I immediately did what I as told... off went the kecks ..and the underpants.....

Thenthere was chanting … it was a like a bad dream…

“ what the fucking... what the fucking... what the fucking hell is that ....”

I was having a 'small' day. it was damp and shriveled due to my piss soaked pants... I have never been so embarrassed. I had lost...


When I got home I realized the girl hit me was because I was unknowingly filming her crotch from approx 3 inches away from it. Something I was totally unaware of at the time as I was looking the other way...bitch

Length?… its usually about 3-4 inches when asleep… he had shrunk to about 2 inches… a little alf’s nose.... the dance off lasted about 4 mintues
(Dan dan dan They tik urh jerbs!!!, Fri 2 Nov 2007, 14:58, 1 reply)

haha!
a 'small day' !!

Hands up who has had one of those...

*puts hands in pockets*
( scoshi pretending to diet since, Mon 5 Nov 2007, 15:31, closed)