my verdict
Trying too hard. Bears all the hallmarks of a callow creative writing student whose friends find this kind of thing amusing. It's those "Oh so zany" irrelevancies and faux-earnest specificity that ruin it every time. "Flame-haired songstress...allergic to conventional animal restraints...threw her in a nearby kiln....more sensual than a drunken badger"

I'm yawning now. Shrink it by 80%, come up with a narrative thread someone may care to read and you might have a good post.
(frankspencer, Tue 6 Nov 2007, 14:31, Reply)