Disabled sing-song
(Thanks for Mr Explicit for helping me remember this, hopefully not posted this 'un before)

Back in college we used to have a section for the disabled teenagers, and as far as I can remember they had good facilities for providing care/support/training for them. One particular guy there was the legendary Duncan. Now Duncan wasn't your run of the mill ordinary spacker, oh no. He was the most violent and abuse one that I've ever met. Constantly swearing and hitting people, he was also about 6 foot of muscle too which increased the threat level. His eyes were also unnaturally close together and his skin was a dark red too, which made him look even angrier. He literally looked like a character from "Stoppit and Tidyup" (now edited to the correct name for the pedantic cunts amongst us) .

So it was the end of a lovely college perving day (as per) and me 'n' me mate Anthony were waiting by the bus stop, along with a crowd of about 50-100 other students. We're talking and perving away when suddenly Duncan marches through the crowd towards us. Anthony smiles, and calls him over.
"Anthonyyyyy!" shouts Duncan, who marches over. Somehow Anthony had befriended the Beserker, and unfortunately Anthony can be a "bit of a cunt" when he wants to be.
"Come here Duncan.....awwww mate, I've learnt a cool song, do you want to hear it?"
Duncan storms over, and Anthony whispers some words in his ear.
"You got that mate? You know what would be awesome, if you sung that to all the people here. Go on, I dares you to sing it to everyone."
Duncan smiles, and turns around to the crowd. Anthony on the other hand turns to me and says "Leggit."
We run around the back of the crowd just in time to hear Duncan shout "There's no black in the Union Jack so send the bastards back!". Cue 100 or so students gobs hitting the pavement and me 'n' Anthony pissing ourselves laughing.
One girl at the front of the crowd said "That's terrible Duncan, who told you to say that?" and Duncan points at the empty space where we were.

A few years later I'm learning to drive and I drive past Duncan, who'se frog marching down the road with some headphones on. Vince, me driving instructor says in his tactful way "Look at that bright cunt by there Jeccy."
I notice him and say "Eh, you can't say that Vince, that's Duncan."
"How the hell do you know him then?"
"He was in college with us."
"College? What the fuck was he doing there, A Level Paper-Tearing?"
I almost hit a parked car from laughing so hard.

Duncan Disorderly, we salute you, you fecking mutant psycho.

Apols for length? It did have a dribbly on the end :)
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Thu 8 Nov 2007, 9:54, 3 replies)

pedantry
it's Stoppit and Tidyup
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Nov 2007, 10:18, closed)

Vipros is right...
...and I can't edit, arrgghh!!!
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Thu 8 Nov 2007, 10:53, closed)

that'll be The Big. Bad. I Said NO
excellent imagery
( VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Thu 8 Nov 2007, 12:24, closed)