Wish I'd been there...
A group of friends set off on a pub-crawl-followed-by-clubbing-and-pulling night out. One had a huge red boil on his nose that everybody did their level best to tactfully ignore, by ensuring they didn’t stare or comment.

When they reached the first pub to hook up with another friend, he took one look at the guy with the boil and shouted, “Fuck me, it’s like a traffic light! They’ll be no muff-diving for you, later.”
(IHateSprouts is baking a huge pie shaped like an enormous pie, Fri 4 Nov 2011, 12:20, Reply)