A two-for-one special
Many years ago, during my college days, I spent quite a lot of time on the internet, which was still fairly new to most people. After talking to a young lady for some time, it was decided that we should meet in person, so I was invited to a party being held at her apartment. As I did not own a car at the time, I convinced my friend Lou to drive me there with the promise of single ladies and alcohol. Plans were made, and Lou and I set off. Having underestimated the time it would take from Florida to New Jersey, we arrived considerably later than planned. My lady friend had waited up all night with her roommates (in case I turned out to be a serial killer), and after exchanging brief pleasantries everyone went to their respective bedrooms to get some sleep, leaving Lou and I to nap in chairs in the living room.

That evening, the party got into full swing. It turns out the only alcohol available was a keg of Coors Light. Whatever your opinion is on American beer, I can assure you that Coors Light is FAR worse. I barely sipped at mine, while my lady drank cup after cup after cup. After a couple of hours, she grabbed me by the wrist and dragged me into her bedroom.

And that was the start of tactless example #1: For the next four hours, various people would come up to the bedroom door and shout various forms of encouragement, and/or shove condoms under the door. Typical tactless drunken jokers.

Tactless joke #2: As sexytiems were getting started, my lady friend pulled out a condom for me to use. Much fun was had, etc. Upon finishing, however, I discovered that the condom was very nearly shredded. Panic set in, as I was absolutely sure I was going to now be a father at the tender age of 18. I was nearly in tears, when I noticed that she was laughing. Apparently she knew the condom was quite old and likely to break, so she purposely used it to prank me. She had taken other precautions, and so the condom was never an issue. When she realized that her joke had been pretty tactless, she apologized... for the next several hours.

Length? For an fraction of a second, I thought that's why the thing had broken!
(WillF http://www.flickr.com/photos/silverfischdotnet/, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 20:05, 3 replies)

You didn't get her pregnant.....
But you passed and/or recieved an STD. Go you!
( user_names_suck, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 0:00, closed)

Fortunately, no b3ta user has ever had sex.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 8:16, closed)

You what?????
What had she done? Left it out in the sun for six months or something?


This is just so much shit. You should be ashamed.
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 14:57, closed)