Not a wing man
In the dim and distant past when I were a student, I was living in a shared house with a couple of other guys. It's fair to say that back then I wasn't the suave, debonair ladies man that I am today. So when I actually had a real live girl in my room it was something of an unusual event, and my flatmates couldn't help but be aware of it.

Sexy times were just getting underway when the phone rang. I'm hardly likely to answer it, so I leave it to someone else. Someone does, and it turns out to be for me. So what does my "friend" do? Take a message? Tactfully tell them I'm not in right now? Tell them I'll call back?

No. In a loud voice, which the caller can definitely hear, he shouts out "Monkey! It's your Mum!"

Cue rapidly shrinking dick and a missed opportunity.

(Postscript: Revenge was mine some years later, when he arrived at a young lady's house clearly intent on seduction, only to find me wandering out of her bedroom in my boxers. I wish I had a picture of his face...)
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 16:40, 3 replies)

Is this the cue for someone to say...
"That's funny because when I think of your mum it has the opposite effect on my dick"?
( number5 has been fighting tramps and losing., Mon 7 Nov 2011, 17:51, closed)

That's funny, because when I think of your mum it has the opposite effect on my dick.

( The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 19:14, closed)

And when I think of your mum it has the opposite effect on my dick. aswell

( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 22:11, closed)