i can do the splits
which i proved to unbelieving friends whilst drunk last christmas. as i hadn't pulled this particular trick in quite some time, i was a bit rusty and it took me a minute or so to do it.
getting back off the floor was another matter. my legs locked in place and i had to be physically lifted off the floor by a couple of burly revellers.
you may think that's embarrassing enough, but it gets worse. i was laughing so hard when they lifted me up that i farted, really quite loudly.
i found out later that i'd also weed a little bit, too.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 18:03, 8 replies)

Smash, you're a classy broad.

( chenobble rocking his explorer beard on, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 18:20, closed)

ain't i just ;)

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 18:29, closed)

HAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAAA
I think I just weed a bit too...!!!!
( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 18:23, closed)

it's contagious

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 18:31, closed)

hahaha, what the gentlemen above said
Everytime I read it I get the giggles
( Richard Shitheels, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 21:51, closed)

yep, i'm a real catch!

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 22:43, closed)

A minute or so?
After 5 seconds of trying I would've had the thought that "if I do this I'm going to stay that way forever".
Eeep.
(Sadarse works like Mist condensing mud flaps, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 2:02, closed)

i was drunk
very, very drunk.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 12:24, closed)