You could probably narrow it down by eliminating anyone who could prove he was sober at the time of your conception
Following that I'd look for someone with an inherited mental condition or serious narcotic dependency.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:27, 1 reply)

You've spent far too long living on Council Estates where they all beat you up,
did you meet up with your long lost dad on any of them?
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:40, closed)

I've heard heroin babies come out well spacky, maybe your parents were skaggies
Check your mum for track marks next time she changes you
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:43, closed)

i'm glad i ent never been cauuncil like you, it sounds awful
at least you always had optimus prime to turn to
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:50, closed)

Oh wow, another Optimus Prime reference
To the man who has his own Transformers porn site and a b3ta icon of...Optimus Prime. That I drew. With these jibes you are really wounding me, I'm so terribly, terribly embarrassed to be associated with Optimus Prime in any way.

Dude, give up, you fucking suck at this.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 13:55, closed)

clearly, your only friend is a hasbro toy and your dad walked out on you as a kid
I can't help but feel that these events are connected
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 14:01, closed)

They would be if either of them were true, but they're not except perhaps in your fantasies
As it is, I'm trying to work out if you're intentionally coming across as being retarded, or if you just are cripplingly stupid. I'm beginning to think that both could be true.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 14:04, closed)

You're getting on a bit Emvee, middle age is not that far away, it's a bit sad that you pewpewpew daggadaggadagga with your optimus prime in those special 'me' moments
i'm also pretty sure that you like to shoehorn in your estrangement from your old man at most qotw opportunities. Just sayin like.
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 14:09, closed)

Firstly, Optimus Prime isn't my favourite Transformer. He's not even in my top ten.
Secondly, you have have had it wrong about my relationship with my dad from the second you started spouting off about him and haven't even brushed on the truth once, despite your repeated baiting. You're a pisspoor pathetic little amateur who knows nothing of any importance and your continued obsession with me is starting to look very, very gay.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 14:13, closed)

It's the other way around Emvs - I PUTTING YOU ON IGNORE, YOURE OFF IGNORE BUT I'LL BE KEEPING AN EYE ON YOU, JUST ONE MORE SNIDE COMMENT AT ME AND YOU'LL BE BACK ON IGNORE EXCEPT I CANT HELP MYSELF
it's as dull as you dressing as optimus prime and sticking a bottle up your arse as part of your porn monthly special
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 14:19, closed)

Eh, I've taken everyone off ignore
but seriously, you post about me more than you post about anything else. It's emvee this and emvee that every week. I'm glad that I bring meaning to your shallow existence and you clearly like to think about me in a sexual way (as evidenced by your post above) but this whole internet stalker thing is a bit old hat now, surely? Do you really have nothing better to do than sit wanking at your keyboard thinking that you've somehow annoyed me?
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 14:23, closed)

You should really back that up with the search facility, 'seriously' it would show that you're wrong. I'm totally stalking you with stuff that you've posted on qotw, I'm fucking depraved and don't know where to stop.
You're the only plank on b3ta to admit to having an optimus prime fetish. That's a gift that'll just keep on giving.
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 14:28, closed)

Fucking hell, I post the address to the site often enough
Are you really so dense as to think that I'd be embarrassed about it? Is this some weird game where I post how cripplingly stupid you are and then you prove me right?
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 14:34, closed)

Never be embarrassed by your passions, even when it's a paedophile fixation with a shit comic about talking lorries
hit me up with a link, I've gotta see this
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 14:38, closed)

You wouldn't like it, we only feature women
And there's no scat
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 14:44, closed)

This is the funniest thread of all time.
By fucking miles.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 14:20, closed)

I think it's hilarious
It's proof that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 14:25, closed)

It seems
that Rory has Emvee Envy
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:14, closed)

At you, not with you I'm afraid.


Soz
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 8:39, closed)

Captain Give-A-Fuck isn't in to take your call right now, but if you'd like to leave a message after the tone
I'm sure someone will give a fuck eventually
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 9:12, closed)

Is 'Captain Give-a-Fuck' another one of those bent 'super heroes' you're so enamoured of?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 9:52, closed)