Gloria's knockers / glorious knockers
I was in love with a girl called Gloria.

Gloria had wonderful, long blonde hair and _cough_ glorious knockers.

After a few days of minor stalky behaviour, I found that Gloria worked in the local chip chop. Not the chippie by the station, owned by a man who was the living spit of Mao Tse Tung, where hungry punters queued down the road; but Greasy Joe's in the village which always appeared to be empty and survived solely on drunken punters falling out of the pub at closing time.

It was resolved. I would save some money from my paper round, stride into Greasy Joe's and impress her with my fish-and-chip buying skills. Heaven knows, she might even speak to me.

The day came. I wasn't hungry, because my mum had insisted I have my tea before I went out, and I arrived at Greasy Joes both bloated and nervous.

And there she was: Hair up in a net, glorious chest hidden behind an apron, bored out for her mind in an empty shop with nothing but a TV for company.

"Yeah – what do you want?"

She spoke to me. She actually spoke to me.

"Meep..."

"Pardon?"

"Meeep... portion of chips please."

"Want salt an' vinegar on that?" she asked, all the time staring at the television set.

"tits"

"WHAT?!"

And from the back of the shop, hidden from view, came the voice of Greasy Joe himself: "WANK-ERRRR!"

"Shut up, Dad. He's in my year at school."

I grabbed my salt-and-vinegar-free chips and fled to the park, where they tasted as dust in my mouth.

Me and Gloria. It was over. I went back to Janet Ellis and the Grattan catalogue (pages 210-238).

Oh, and Princess from Battle of the Planets
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 15:29, 4 replies)

Princess from Battle of the Planets
.....whoaaaar :)
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:53, closed)

^This^
OMG she's hot.
(misskitty reeks of sex and turpentine; laudanum afternoons, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 1:28, closed)

She has a nude bit
in the original Japanese Gatchaman movie, while doing that normal-person to dressed-up transformation.

Oh dear. That's creepy, knowing that.
( Fronds are waving gently on, Sat 7 Nov 2009, 19:37, closed)

That Grattan catalogue
had nowt on Sears and Roebuck, which was American, and therefore EXOTIC as well as being filthy.

Och, well, sorry to hear about Gloria - I'm sure it would have been fine had she pretended to be a bloke and sworn she was Elvis - amiright?
(nd1001 slamdunked my funk, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 21:06, closed)