when i was a teenager...
first post, may be a tad long.

I used to hang out at a skate park, well i say skate park, more a precariously constructed death hole made from what appeared to be old ikea furniture, still it was mostly ok and fun was had by all.
Girls were a rarity at best but there was one regular by the name of Alice. Alice was a bit, shall we say... insane? yes, definitely insane. i remember the time she forcibly handcuffed herself to me and we had to eventually have someone cut them off with an angle grinder, but thats another story. She was also about two year older than most of us at the time and made us all itch in funny places.
One day Alice was tearing up the the ramps and we were all standing around itching in funny places, and she eventually comes up to us and states a challenge. "if any of you can stall on the music, then i guarantee we can have a good time afterwards".
The music, i could write pages about the music but basically it was a vert ramp that went up a good 6-7 metres with a chunky drup in on the other side. It was named the music because of the noise people made when invariably failing and destroying the skin on there legs on the way back down.
I conveniently forgot this and volunteered my services. hell if i got to slip a finger in something damp and warm i was game.
And lo i did take off at great speed toward the music. i hit the drop in perfectly tucked in low to minimise wind resistance on the way up felt my truck connect with the rail and then nothing.
I awoke moments later with what seemed like tons of wreckage around me i looked down at my legs.
i woke up minutes later in the back of an ambulance surrounded by doctors and Alice, i ask what happened, she said i hit the rail perfectly but as i did the whole loving ramp came down, a doctor made a joke about maybe i should watch my weight, i didn't laugh.
8 years later and still i'm haunted by that teenage crush that makes me walk wobbly...

*pop*
( Bishop Yozz remembers when lily savage advertised oasis..., Fri 6 Nov 2009, 11:18, 9 replies)

Ha !
Nice ! Welcome to this here load of old bollocks too, mate.
( SpankyHanky, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 11:25, closed)

Ta very muchly
and what a righteous load of nonsense it is too +D
( Bishop Yozz remembers when lily savage advertised oasis..., Fri 6 Nov 2009, 11:34, closed)

no
i fear my good time was to never present itself, Alice however did present herself and ended up doing a ten stretch for indecent exposure.
( Bishop Yozz remembers when lily savage advertised oasis..., Fri 6 Nov 2009, 11:36, closed)

A hot woman exposes herself in public and gets put away?
What the fuck is this country coming to?
(ConanTroutman thought we would free the vulture, Tue 10 Nov 2009, 13:20, closed)

Alice?
Who the fuck is Alice?
( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Fri 6 Nov 2009, 14:48, closed)

I'm happy to say........
That it's absolutely beyond the bounds of the law to get put away for ten years for indecent exposure. You'd be lucky to get 3 months for wanking on the high street. Liked the story though!
(Sammyhaswoefullyneglectedyou, Wed 11 Nov 2009, 16:11, closed)