Badger badger badger, mushroom mushroom!
This is one of the most horrible stories I have ever heard. It features, as you can guess, Students and Badgers and was related to me by my mate, Rory, (names haven't been altered to protect the guilty).

Anyway, Rory was at uni with a bunch of agricultural students, basically young farmers.
They indulged in the usual students antics involving dressing up as women and stealing turkeys at night from local farms.

One evening, they were walking back from the local when they saw a dead badger at the side of the road. Seeing the opportunity to raise his hardness rating, Beardy, for that was his name, picked up said badger and carried it back to their digs announcing that he would eat it.

Once back at home, Beardy skinned the badger which had lain for probably all day at the least by a road in the sun and then cut off the "choiciest" bits and proceded to fry them with plenty of sauce. Rory said that the smell as he was skinning it was bad enough but when the meat began to cook it became unbearable. Still, fuelled by alcohol and testosterone, Beardy managed to eat a large portion of the badger before dumping the rest of the carcass in the bins behind the flats and settling down for a good nights X-boxing.

Morning broke and with it came the sounds of a rather unwell Beardy evacuating himself with rather more gusto than usual. He continued in this way most of the morning with a raging fever and almost hollow inside. He decided to try to replenish his fluids with beer which didn't have the desired effect. By now the flat reeked of dead badger from the night before as the washing up hadn't been done and now the smell of digested badger vomit and his colon.

Two days later and Beardy was now shitting blood in copious amounts and admitted defeat and called the doctor. Doctor immediately diagnoses acute food poisinong and asks what he had eaten. "Dead badger" replies Beardy and explains what had happened.

The Doctor then places Beardy in hospital whereupon he is stuck full of more needles than a voodoo doll and interviewed and tested by a Contagious Diseases team.

It took two weeks for Beardy to get back to "normal" and he swears that his days of eating dead animals found by the sides of the roads are over.

Length? 2 feet long and a foot wide before it went in.
(71 hour Ahmed wasn't working at, Thu 17 May 2007, 13:15, Reply)