Fish-based Swedish Culinary Humour, Part 2: LUTFISK
Cast your minds back to July 2004 where we were quizzed over hated Foods, preceeded by the now-customary "I live in Sweden" I brought you "Surströmming": A Culinary Delight that marries Decay, Rot and Fermentation to deliver an overpowering Fishy aroma and taste that has the welcoming appeal of a fetid dog-fart administered direct to the nose. If the mental image isn't familiar, heres a reminder.
b3ta.com/questions/hatedfood/

So.. That was HATED foods... Here and now we have "terrible Food".. in a plot-twist that even George W could see coming I shall start with ....

..."I live in Sweden"...

...and I'd like to share the true horror that is LUTFISK: meaning "Lye Fish" and sounding like "Loot-Fisk": Consider it proof that Swedes like to have an entry in every category if at all possible, and have a way of defiling most of the sea's creatures.

Unhappy with Blatant Herring-Abuse, The nordic bunch like to violte Cod and Ling on a regular basis aswell. The practice of drying fish was once a necessity in order to store it: cheaper and easier than salting it. (The practice of marrying your cousins and sisters died out when the introduction of the bicycle allowed people to travel with more ease.. but strangely the introduction of readily available salt has not halted *this* equally dubious practice)

Now.. While my Icelandic mates happily chow down on dried Cod, (think of it as Fish-Jerky), The swedes feel compelled to "re-hydrate" thier desiccated fish, and turn it into LutFisk.

First off, you leave your dried fish in cold water for SIX DAYS. Swedes have learnt over time that this doesn't make for tasty food... So the water then gets switched for a lye-and-water solution, in which Mr Cod sits for 2 Days more..

Fish at best is a bit slimey, However this treatment makes the fish Gain volume over it's *original* size. It begins to resemble Jelly: Wobbly and squishy to the touch.

Yeah... Gnarly as it is, we're not done yet.

Your wobbly seudo-Jellyfish is now highly caustic, soaked with lye and tippin gthe PH scale at a fairly heady PH12. This you neautralise by - get this - soaking it in cold water for .. Yup. ANOTHER SIX DAYS.

After playing with floppy fish for two weeks, you're ready to cook it. Boiling it- not surprisingly - is one option..

It should be noted that the instant you're done cooking and *eating this stuff, it is recomended that you clean everything you've been using, asonce dried, it is nearly impossible to remove. Also, It iw well known that you should NEVER use silverware, as the Lutfisk will damage it permanently. -I'm not kidding.

Ok.. I say "eating" but you may choose to use a wide straw; such is the consistancy.

The taste is often descrbed as mild/mellow. A layman's translation of this would be "Tasteless" and "Soapy". After 14 days of soaking dried fish in water and lye, the end result is a tasteless fishy gelatinous-mush, with a slightly lumpy texture Which any discerning pig would avoid.

The thought (and memory) of it is actually making me wretch right now... I'd rather tongue a poodle's arse than eat that stuff again.
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Thu 17 May 2007, 14:15, Reply)