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This is a question Terrible food

Back when I was a student, we had a "clear out the fridge" party. Everyone brought what they had left and the idea was to make a big meal out of it.

The stew/casserole/whatever was going surprisingly well until someone added the tin of mackerel in tomato sauce they'd been hoarding all year.

What's the worst thing you've ever cooked or eaten? Who's the worst cook you've encountered?

[and yes, we've asked this before, but way, way back before we had the fancy QOTW pages]

(, Thu 17 May 2007, 10:23)
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University... Short of money... (More likely drunk)... Yada yada....
... And I fancied some italian. Lasagne. Haven't had lasagne in aaaages....

Lasagne Ingredients:
Cheese sauce (Which I've since been told 'Should be Bechamel', but I prefer it cheesier than that)
Flatness rather than squiggliness or tubeness. (Shape of the pasta. Come on, keep up.)

None of these items were present in the cupboard, so I improvised.

- Take one king pot noodle, beef and tomato flavour. Remove lid, add boiling water to just under the line. Stir and leave to stand.
- Tip old washing up water out of small casserole dish. Rinse and dry.
- Unwrap 8 Tescos Value cheese-style food-product slices
- Place a layer of now-goopy pot noodle in base of casserole
- layer 4 cheese-food-prdouct slices over the sauce
- repeat last two steps with the remainder of the pot noodle and slices.
- Microwave for 1 minute on full power, or until cheese-food-product slices start to bubble. Or get a skin tougher than plastic.
- Serve in the dish, on a TV magazine on your lap, with a slice of bread with the mouldy crusts cut off.

It's got beef. Ish. Certainly tomato-esque with spices. Well, salt, anyway. There's cheese, pasta and flatness in there. All the elements of a good lasagne, without actually being good. Or lasagne.

Looking back, I can't see how I managed to come back from Uni the size I did. I should have been in a permanent state of malnourishment, or possibly the poster child for amoebic dysentry.

To be fair, I also invented the wonder that is fish-finger and blackcurrant jam sandwiches. It's surprisingly nice.

[nob gag]
(, Fri 18 May 2007, 8:44, Reply)

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